


This Is Why Mom Doesn’t Fucking Love You

by A_Tomb_With_A_View



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Has Anxiety (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex and Willie gay panic for five chapters, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic Nick, Asexual Bobby Wilson, Boggie rights y’all, F/F, F/M, Grey-ace Alex, Honestly you can just assume everyone is ace in my stuff but these guys are explicitly so, Julie and Luke enemies to lovers, Luke Patterson Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), M/M, Reggie has fibromyalgia, Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), flynn and Carrie lesbian awkwardness for five chapters, found family vibes yk, he/they willie, reggie and Bobby old married couple, she/they flynn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Tomb_With_A_View/pseuds/A_Tomb_With_A_View
Summary: The second Principle Lessa announced that the theme for this year’s annual senior music showcase was Battle of the Bands, Julie knew she had multiple problems.First and foremost, the biggest issue was that she didn’t have a band, and therefore currently couldn’t even sign up, which led her onto problem number two: while she had a place at NYU, Juilliard was holding out on her at least participating in the showcase, because as a hopeful performance major with no filmed performances, they had said they couldn’t just hand out scholarships without any insurance.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Flynn & Julie Molina & Nick & Luke Patterson & Reggie & Willie & Carrie Wilson, Alex Mercer & Carrie Wilson, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie, Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Flynn & Willie, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 171
Kudos: 388





	1. Building A Band

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer 1: I have no idea how the US college system works, I’m from England  
> Disclaimer 2: I have anxiety and fibromyalgia, and I’m getting assessed for ADHD so all that health shit is based off my personal experience 
> 
> Fun fact: the interview I had last week was for my top med school for those of you that have read my other stuff, and I wasn’t supposed to hear until March, but I found out yesterday that I got an offer :))
> 
> All that out of the way: this was a random idea where I basically wanted cheerleader Alex and it evolved from there, so enjoy, kids! Reggie is smart because I said so

The second Principle Lessa announced that the theme for this year’s annual senior music showcase was Battle of the Bands, Julie knew she had multiple problems. 

First and foremost, the biggest issue was that she didn’t have a band, and therefore currently couldn’t even sign up, which led her onto problem number two: while she had a place at NYU, Juilliard was holding out on her at least participating in the showcase, because as a hopeful performance major with no filmed performances, they had said they couldn’t just hand out scholarships without any insurance. 

Luckily, her best friends were kind of terrifying, so she figured they’d at least have some kind of plan, which, of course, they did.

“Oh, Alex Mercer, Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters and Bobby Wilson,” Willie rattled off as soon as she’d mentioned her need for a band, without even blinking. 

Flynn nodded her agreement. “You can catch Mercer near the bleachers after school before cheer practice, Patterson at literally any time in the music room, Peters probably in the parking lot during lunch, and Wilson either near him, in the gym, or in the chem lab.” 

Julie looked between the two of them frantically. “Woah, woah, woah! Why is this so well thought out? How do you know where they are? Isn’t Alex Mercer supposedly a bit of a bitch? Does Reggie Peters even know he’s supposed to come to school everyday? Won’t Bobby Wilson just cave my cheekbone in? How do you even know they play instruments asides him? And Luke Patterson? That bastard? I’d rather run an in depth scientific experiment on how many knitting needles I can jam into my eyeballs -  _ with _ repeats.” 

“Oh, honey,” Flynn said, taking her hand. “The theme for the Senior Music Competition is on a five year rotational system. We’ve known you’d have to do battle of the bands for three years, and have been planning as such ever since. And honestly, Jules, it’s high time you got over your rivalry with Luke, do you even know what you were fighting about to begin with?”

“...No, but that’s not the important part,” Julie huffed. “Last Thursday, he forgot to let the boiling tube warm up before he dropped it in our beaker of  _ boiling _ water, which meant it obviously shattered, and everyone knows Reggie has a thing about broken glass, and i swear, Flynn, i thought Bobby was going to kill us.”

Willie squinted. “I somehow doubt Luke broke glass so he could murder you by way of Bobby. Regarding Alex Mercer, he isn’t as much of a bitch as everyone says he is. It’s only really a rumour because everyone knows he won’t date any of the popular girls who think he’s the best thing since the football player they last got with, and because he’s not really friends with anyone outside of the cheer team, but if we stopped holding cheerleaders and football players on pedestals like they’re some kinds of deity, no one would actually care who he spoke to and slept with.”

Flynn shot them a look. “How the fuck do you know how much of a bitch Alex Mercer is?”

Willlie shrugged, a sheepish smile gracing their features. “We’ve been talking for a while…”

Julie felt her jaw drop, and a quick glance at Flynn proved she was in the same situation. “Since  _ when?” _

“Well, um, I ran him over whilst I was out skating, right? And so I bought him a coffee to make up for it, and I just kept impulse-sending him memes and now we’re friends,” Willie explained, looking about as confused as Julie felt about the whole situation. “Anyways, i know he plays the drums because he told me. I can ask if you really want, but he’ll appreciate it more coming from you.”

Julie nodded slowly. “I have to scope him out anyways, make sure he’s good enough for you.”

“Oh my god, it’s not like that,” Willie protested, cheeks going red. “I’m pretty sure everyone would know if Alex Mercer was into guys.”

“That’s true,” Flynn acknowledged. “Which sucks, but we’ll be too busy stopping Luke and Julie trying to kill each other anyways.”

“You dont think Bobby Wilson will try - and succeed - at killing me first?” Julie asked. “I’ve heard he’s a pretty violent guy. And i don’t wanna hang around Reggie if he’s gonna be a bad influence - I’m pretty sure he has more piercings than i have t-shirts, and dad won’t want me spending time with a guy who ditches class.”

Flynn furrowed their eyebrows. “Bobby Wilson isn't violent, he's just on the wrestling team, and, y’know, stereotypes. He’s also a chemistry nerd, and from what i heard when he had to do his solo piece in my music period instead of his usual class, he’s a killer guitarist.”

“And Reggie Peters?” Julie pressed, figuring she wouldn’t be able to push either of her friends on the Alex or Bobby front. 

Willie stole her pudding cup and leaned back into his chair. “Someone told me that Bobby said he leaves to do college level maths classes, not anything else. Half his piercings are acupuncture points for his chronic pain, too - or at least that’s what that kid that always hangs out in the nurse’s office said. Just face it, Julie-bean. We’ve never let you down, and you know we’re right, even about Luke.”

Flynn nodded eagerly, braids flying. “So; you’ve got the voice of an  _ angel,  _ Luke Patterson writes awesome songs and is an epic guitarist, as is Bobby Wilson, Reggie Peters is an incredible bassist, and Alex Mercer plays hella drums.”

“Boom. Band,” The pair of them said at the same time, high-fiving without looking.

\----

No matter what Willie had insisted about there being nothing substantial to the rumours about Alex Mercer; he was still a pretty imposing guy, especially for a cheerleader. 

In a way, Julie kind of got what other people said about him; he was attractive in a kind of untouchable way, and he wasn’t talking to the rest of the cheer team as they warmed up, just stretching by himself, using the bleachers as support so he could pull his leg up into what she was pretty sure was called a scorpion.

“Hi!” She said, scolding herself for the odd, preppy way it came out. “You’re Alex Mercer, right?” 

Alex gave her a weird look, but obligingly released his foot. “Yeah? We’ve been in the same physics class since fifth grade, Julie. What do you want?” 

Julie felt her cheeks burn - she’d known, obviously, but she’d kind of wanted to give him an out just in case he didn’t know who she was. “Right, yeah. Uhm. I need a band, for the Senior Music thing, and my friends say you play the drums?” 

Alex snorted and folded forward until his palms rested comfortably on the ground. “You want me. To play the drums for your band. Why do you think i’d do it?” 

“Uh…” she thought back to what Flynn had coached her through that morning. “It would look great on your college application? Los Feliz is known for its Senior Music Show. You can’t put playing the drums on your application and  _ not  _ have participated.” 

“Julie, not to rain on your parade, or whatever, but my application doesn’t exactly need filling out,” Alex informed her, standing up straight. “Besides, I did early applicatio n. I’ve already got a place at Yale.” 

Fuck, of  _ course  _ he did. The Mercer family ran a fucking volunteering programme out of the local church for Yale hopefuls with the promise of legacy endorsement for those who did a certain number of hours. Alex Mercer getting into Yale had never exactly been in question. “I don’t know, then! What do you want?” 

Alex shrugged. “Nothing. I don’t have time for a band, and no offence, Julie, but it’s not really like we’re friends? I don’t really know why you asked me. If i remember rightly from the Junior showcase, there are, like, seven people who play the drums in our year, all of whom would probably be stoked to help you out.”

Julie clenched her fists, hoping she’d interpreted the shy smiles Willie lit up with whenever she’d brought up Alex correctly. “Willie told me he thought you’d help me?” 

Even though she’d been expecting it, distantly, she was still kind of surprised when Alex blushed ever so slightly. She guessed she’d kind of bought into Willie’s line of thinking - for some reason she’d expected to know if one of the most popular guys in their year liked guys, even though she barely knew him.

Alex managed to keep his tone mostly level, but he leaned forward a little, coming across a lot more interested. “Uh, Willie is gonna be involved, then?”

Oh, yeah,” Julie said, nodding. “Absolutely. They’re one of my two best friends, obviously they’ll be helping out. Plus, he’s a killer photographer, so i’d be losing out if i didn't ask him.”

“That’s true,” Alex agreed, scuffing his shoe against the floor. “Um… I have to go, practice and all, but tell Willie to text me the time and place? If you’ve got a decent enough set of musicians… well, i’ll think about it, okay? He shrugged his hoodie off to reveal  _ way  _ more muscle than Julie had been expecting and jogged backwards towards the growing group of cheerleaders. “And remind him i owe him a coffee, okay?”

\----- 

As Flynn had predicted, she found Reggie and Bobby in the parking lot together at lunch, both sat cross legged on the bonnet of Bobby’s car, Bobby fiddling with the back of Reggie’s ear. 

“Uh…hi?” Julie said when she got close enough, realising that Bobby was helping Reggie put an earring in. “Reggie and Bobby, right?” 

They both looked up at the same time. “Yup. And you’re Julie?” 

Julie ignored how viscerally that reminded her of Willie and Flynn, and soldiered on. “Yeah, right. So… um, i need a band for the Battle of the Band thing… and my friends said you’re my best bet?”

Reggie cocked his head as soon as Bobby let go of his ear. “Us? In a band?”

She nodded slowly. “You guys play, right? Bass and rhythm guitar? I’m genuinely gonna scream if you don’t and i’ve just made a complete fool of myself…”   


“Oh, no, we do.” Bobby shook his head. “Just usually people don’t ask us for stuff like that. Been asked for meth a coupl’a times, though.”   


“Uh… do you provide meth?” Julie asked tentatively. “Because Willie and Flynn told me you were decent guys but my dad would kill me if I started a band with a meth dealer.”

Reggie snorted. “We don’t deal drugs. Except that one time i shared my prochlorperazine when everyone got sick because we drove past that slaughterhouse, but that’s just anti-nausea medication, it’s not meth.”

“I’m pretty sure I could make meth,” Bobby speculated, pulling Reggie closer into his side. “But if I made it I'd probably inhale some and then it would show up on doping tests at States, and then I'd lose my scholarship to MIT, and I'd have to be Reg’s trophy husband.”

Reggie hummed. “You’d look cute in a cocktail dress. Although, I don't think maths professors have trophy husbands, bro.”

“What?” Bobby dug through his bag with his free hand until he found a soda. “You wanted to be an engineer at NASA, like, two days ago, I swear.”

Reggie shrugged, teasing smile lighting up his features. Honestly the both of them were way cuter like this - teasing each other like an old married couple, half curled into one another - than they’d even come across to her in the halls, where Reggie was a picture in leather jackets and piercings and Bobby was a force of wrestling singlets and chemistry textbooks so thick she’d always assumed he was just carrying them around to have something to fight people with, despite how conversations she’d overhead about how “mysterious” and “hot” they both were. 

“Yeah, but I  _ was  _ thinking we could be that sexy professor married couple where everyone thinks we’re students because we’re so young and beautiful and funny, until they find out we’re professors and  _ then  _ they find out we’re married and go crazy, like on the Reddit post you showed me,” Reggie explained. 

Julie cleared her throat, snorting when Bobby jumped, spilling his soda everywhere.

“Jesus  _ fuck,  _ Molina, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He panted, clutching his chest. 

She laughed, but shook her head. “No, you just never answered my question?” 

Reggie blinked. “What question? Oh, wait, nevermind, I remember. Sure, why not? Acadec is cancelled for…like… ever, since Mrs Lions is on maternity, we’ve got free time.” 

“What he says,” Bobby agreed. “Wait, what’s the gay equivalent of better listen to the missus?” 

“Babe, that’s not a phrase.” Reggie scrunched his nose up. “But, I will find out.” 

Julie took that as her signal to leave, deciding that she needed at least a coke from the vending machine to get her through talking to Luke Patterson. 

——

“Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie,” Luke Patterson drawled, grinning at her, once she’d finished explaining why she needed his help. It was honestly infuriating how beautiful his stupid face was, because it meant Julie had to keep her guard up at all times, lest she join the swathes of girls - and guys - in their year who would probably donate at least one kidney to get Luke to give them a second glance. “Look at you, asking me for help. How does it feel?” 

Julie scowled at him. “Like I could pay you to let me saw my own hands off and still have a better time.” 

Luke visibly had to hold back a smile. “Y’know, if either of us remembered the beginning of this rivalry well enough to appropriately apologise, we’d probably be great friends?” 

“Yeah,” she agreed, nodding solemnly. “But you ruined my seventh birthday party because you conspired with Carlos to let you cut your hair - which, kudos - but now I can’t look at sheet cake without throwing up in my mouth a little, so…”

“Yeah… that’s fair.” Luke nodded his acknowledgement. “That’s fair. You did cry through my entire Christmas party in fifth grade, though, so i honestly think we’re balanced at this point.”

“Balanced enough to have a band-truce?” She asked hopefully. “I mean, uh..” she coughed and leaned back into her chair. “Not that we’ll be friends, because I hate you. But… I need a band… Alex, Bobby and Reggie are already down…”

Luke’s jaw dropped a little. “Wait, you asked  _ Alex, Bobby and Reggie  _ if they’d be in a band with you? God, you’d have just as luck much asking Carrie Wilson if she wanted to join a line dancing troupe with you. You got balls, Molina, gotta admit that.” 

“Uh… thanks?” Julie said, grabbing her back. “My place, Monday after school. Considering you uprooted my mom’s entire flower bed three years in a row, I’m assuming you still remember where the garage is?” 

“Yeah, yeah. In my defence, the hopscotch grid I made out of the soil was awesome.” 

“Three years! In a row!” 

——

Julie was pretty sure she’d never had so many people in her garage before. Flynn and Willie had taken their usual spots on the sofa, and Julie was sprawled half across Willie’s side, as normal, but Luke and Alex were, for unknown reasons, sat cross legged on her dad’s coffee table, playing with one of those stupid ring toss water games that she’d thought had ceased to exist in, like, 2010- she hadn’t even known they knew each other - while Reggie and Bobby had crammed themselves into the old armchair, which almost certainly wasn’t supposed to fit two,  _ and _ Alex had brought Carrie, Bobby’s sister, who had brought Nick, a guy from Willie’s lacrosse team that Julie had crushed on from sixth to eighth grade. 

“Okay, Care, why are you even here?” Bobby finally asked, cutting through the quiet, awkward chatter that had been persisting since everyone arrived. “And why did you bring Nick? Not that we don’t love you, bro, but i’m so confused, i thought this was a band meeting.”

Carrie shrugged. “Lexi doesn’t like new places, so Nick and i are just hanging here until he’s cool, then we’re gonna go get fro-yo and watch Birds of Prey again.”

Alex flashed her a thumbs up. “You’re good, guys. Luke and I go way back, I'll be fine.”

“You sure?” Nick asked. Julie tried to remind herself that since she was no longer crushing on him, she had no reason for her stomach to do flip-flops when he sounded that caring. “We’re just watching it at my place, there’s no rush if you’re not ready.”

“Seriously, man, i’m fine,” Alex insisted. “Go before Care dies of Huntress-shortage.”

“I hate this fucking family,” Carrie muttered, but obliginly ruffled Alex’s hair and bumped her knuckles against Bobby’s before leading Nick out.

Flynn coughed. “Anyone wanna explain what that was about?”

Julie hadn’t noticed that Alex had been any more relaxed when talking to Carrie, but she could see now how much he tensed back up. “I have anxiety,” he admitted quietly, shoulders hunched in on himself. “I don’t like new places.”   


“Oh, would this have been easier for you to do somewhere more familiar?” Julie asked, rubbing her arm. “That would’ve been fine.”

No, no, it’s okay.” Alex shook his head. “Anyway… band meeting?”

“How about we start with an ice breaker,” Willie suggested, rolling their eyes at the round of groans that resulted in. “Oh, just go with it. How about… uh, pronouns, any health or mental thing we need to be aware of before me and Flynn start thinking about organising a debut gig, and your favourite fact?”

Julie shrugged, “sounds good to me. She/her, none, my favourite fact is that there’s no such thing as a wild alpaca, because they’re the domesticated version of the vincuña.”

“That’s so cool!” Reggie breathed, waving when all eyes turned to him. “Uh, he/him, i have fibromyalgia, which mainly means touching me is probably a bad idea without asking, and my favourite fact is that according to bone markings, humans have likely been doing maths since about 30,000BC. Although my other favourite fact is probably that despite their name, acoustic bass guitars can also be amped up, it;s called the acoustic because the  _ main  _ amplification method is the body of the guitar itself.”

“Huh... i didn’t know that, that’s pretty cool,” Luke said, finally putting the game down. “I use he/him, please, i think i have ADHD but i’m still in the process of, like, getting assessed and stuff, so really who knows, and my favourite fact is that Jimi Hendrix couldn’t read music. I just think it’s neat.”

Flynn nodded. “I feel like i read that somewhere, but i’m not sure where. I use she/they, i have no health stuff, and… um. Megan Thee Stallion has the same birthday as me?”

“Dope.” Willie offered his hand for a high-five, grinning when Flynn slapped it. “He/they, please, no health stuff, my favourite fact is that Tony Hawk was the first person to do a 900, and he could still do ‘em when he was forty eight.”

“I have no idea what that means, but it sounds awesome,” Alex admitted.

Willie laughed. “Don’t worry about it, man, i’ll send you a video later.”

Alex nodded, cheeks going very faintly pink. “Um. so my pronouns are he/him, i have anxiety, and my favourite fact is that more than eighty percent of the world’s surface is volcanic in origin.”

Bobby made an impressed face. “That’s cool. He/him, none, and my favourite fact is that despite the fact that it takes botulism thirty six hours to kill you, you only have four hours to administer the antidote before it won’t work.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” Julie and Flynn asked at the same time. 

He shrugged. “In my defence, I learned that on criminal minds, but I googled it afterwards, and it’s accurate.”

“Baby, if you murder someone, do you promise to leave me massive amounts of money in an offshore account so i can go get us a cool house in Tasmania and establish a truffle farm while i wait for you to break out of prison?” Reggie asked, turning sideways so his legs were thrown over Bobby’s lap.

“Anyone else feeling super single right now?” Flynn asked, resting her head on Willie’s shoulder. 

Alex nodded and sighed. “Where do I get a boyfriend who promises to leave me huge offshore accounts so I can start a truffle farm in Tasmania?”

Julie paused, glancing at Willie. As expected, they were staring at Alex with eyes the size of saucers, cheeks flushed. 

Reggie spoke first after a moment of awkward silence. “Hey, man, no pressure or anything, but how come you’re not out? Like… i know it would mean a lot to a load of the younger kids if one of the most popular kids in our school was out.”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows together. “Firstly, i’m not one of the most popular kids in our year, i have, like, five friends. Secondly, i’ve been out since eighth grade.”

“No, you haven’t,” Luke, Willie and Reggie somehow managed to say at the same time.

Alex frowned, glancing at Julie as if she would back him up. “I have, because i told Maisy Snowdown that i was gay in eighth grade when she asked me about, and i’ve never heard of a secret Maisy Snowdown  _ didn’t _ immediately tell everyone.”

Flynn shrugged. “Maybe she’s just a decent person, and knows outing people is wrong?”

“I guess… huh.” Alex looked around the room. “Wait, did you think i was  _ straight _ ?”

There was a general noise of affirmation as they all admitted that they had, except Reggie. 

“I had my suspicions,” he admitted. “But i didn’t know for certain.”

“Wait.” Alex turned to look at Willie, face shuttering. “ _ You  _ thought…? Wow. Um. Okay. Moving on… when do you want to start practicing actual music?” he asked Julie, tone flat. 

Julie waved a hand back and forth. “Depends on whether you guys are even all in or not?” 

Once they’d all nodded their assent, she continued. “I was thinking, if you could get your instruments here? Alex, you can leave your drums here if moving them is too much hassle. How about we try this again, for.. Thursday night?” 

——

For some reason, Julie hadn’t really expected to gain actual friends out of this, mainly just people to make music with for a while, but Carrie Wilson felt decidedly comfortable yanking her into the girls bathroom the next morning at school, so Julie figured either Alex or Bobby must vaguely approve of her.

“We have a problem,” Carrie informed her curtly. “And you’re the only person who can help me fix it?”

“Oh-Kay, Double-Oh-Seven,” Julie said slowly, glancing at the door. “What’s the problem?” 

Carrie rolled her eyes. “Alex is being stupid. Yesterday he told me that Willie thought he was straight so obviously he’s losing his mind and has convinced himself Willie is completely uninterested and that the whole time when he thought they were like..  _ talking  _ talking, and planning dates, they were actually just talking and planning Bro-hangouts, and now Alex’s soul is crushed.”

“Oh.” Julie perked up. “Willie has a massive crush on Alex, so they’d be thrilled to have been  _ talking  _ talking and planning dates when he thought they were just talking and planning Bro-hangouts.” 

“Woah,” Carrie said, holding a hand up. “Willie  _ wasn’t _ intending to flirt with Alex?” 

Julie shook her head slowly. “I mean, he’s always thought Alex was cute, but flirting with people you’re sure are straight is kinda a no-go.” 

“True,” she agreed. “Well, Alex has been madly in love with them since seventh grade, so I suggest we do something before the idiot explodes.” 

“Oh, yeah. Willie  _ will  _ lose his mind being around Alex all the time, if we don’t do something soon…”

“Good.” Carrie nodded soberly. “I’m going to get Alex to pick up fro-yo before we watch Thor: Ragnarok for the millionth time, so I’ll text you the time, and you send Willie to do the same, okay? Also, good luck with the dumbass-wrangling.”

Julie blinked. “With the  _ what?”  _

Carrie raised an eyebrow. “Surely you understand that you got the four dumbest boys in our year to join a band with you, right?” 

“Uh, Carrie, I’m pretty sure your brother and his boyfriend are actual geniuses, Luke writes killer songs, and I’ve seen Alex succeed at just about anything he’s ever tried, including redox titration calculations, which I still don’t understand.”

She laughed. “Oh, sweet,  _ naive  _ Julie… Bobby would kill for Reggie in a heartbeat, Reggie just wants a puppy, Luke thinks he can make his way through life by giving important people puppy dog eyes, and Alex once almost had a panic attack because he thought he was being stalked by his own shadow.” 

“Oh, shit.” 


	2. Bi solidarity FTW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie had not expected to be inviting Reggie Peters to her house for a study session when she’d first spoken to him a week ago. 
> 
> She wasn’t really even sure whose decision it had been to have the band join her, Flynn,and Willie for lunch today, or why they’d agreed to it since they’d all had groups of people to sit with before. 
> 
> Hell, up until yesterday, when he’d peered over her shoulder on his way out of study hall and quietly informed her she’d been out by a factor of three because of an error cancelling out two steps up, she’d only really spoken to them in passing.
> 
> To be perfectly honest, she didn’t expect him to say yes in the slightest, especially since she hadn’t invited Bobby, but instead his eyes lit up and he grinned at her. “Aw, Julie, really? I’d love to, that sounds awesome.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonjour! we're back this week with some fun julie®gie bonding to go with our gay panic, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas if you celebrate, and if not I hope you had a great weekend.  
> as usual, the fun fibromyalgia and anxiety stuff is based off my personal experience, and thank you to [@WhatsYourNameMan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan) for sensitivity reading, their [It's Not Sunset Cis](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022667) series kills me every goddamn time so go check that out if you want to be hit right in the feels  
> Without further adieu, enjoy!

Julie had not expected to be inviting Reggie Peters to her house for a study session when she’d first spoken to him a week ago. 

She wasn’t really even sure whose decision it had been to have the band join her, Flynn,and Willie for lunch today, or why they’d agreed to it since they’d all had groups of people to sit with before. 

Hell, up until yesterday, when he’d peered over her shoulder on his way out of study hall and quietly informed her she’d been out by a factor of three because of an error cancelling out two steps up, she’d only really spoken to them in passing.

To be perfectly honest, she didn’t expect him to say yes in the slightest, especially since she hadn’t invited Bobby, but instead his eyes lit up and he grinned at her. “Aw, Julie, really? I’d love to, that sounds awesome.” 

Julie glanced at Bobby momentarily. She was pretty sure they weren’t as impossibly codependent as some of the couples in their year, but also she’d never spoken to one without the other, and she had no idea whether or not he was expecting an invite. 

Bobby just shrugged. “If you feel the intense sisterly urge to smack him, do it with a pillow or we’ll have issues. If he has a flare and you freak out, just call me and I’ll talk you through it.”

“Not everybody gets violent and sisterly urges, man,” Reggie said, rolling his eyes. “That’s mainly just Carrie.”

Alex cleared his throat. He hadn’t spoken to Julie, or any of them bar Luke and occasionally Willie, since the last band meeting, but he’d carried her books for her when her bag had broken three days ago, and Carrie kept shooting her meaningful glances in the hall, so her current theory was just that he was shy but didn’t hate her. “No, most sisters are violent. Carrie especially so, but they are just all little gremlins of rage and long nails.” He paused, then smiled apologetically at Julie. “No offence.”

“Um..” Julie blinked, glancing between Alex and Reggie, who looked just as confused as she felt about Alex actually speaking to them. “None taken?”

Bobby nodded emphatically, apparently sharing no such qualms. “Right? I mean, two weeks ago she tripped over the corner of the couch, and she attempted to smother me with a couch cushion, for tripping her.”

“My big sister moved out about a year ago, but before then she would, like, pinch me?” Alex replied, turning so his body was facing them. “And I kept showing up to cheer practice with these bruises, and I'm pretty sure Carrie was on the verge of driving to my house to throw down.”

“Maybe your sisters are just horrible people?” Luke suggested, leaning over Alex’s shoulder. 

Alex and Bobby whipped around to glare at him at the same time. “You wanna fucking go?”

Luke scrambled back until he was practically pressed into Willie’s side. “Hey, man, remember how your biceps are the size of my head, and I'm very small and loveable?” he asked, tugging Willie’s arm around himself for protection. 

“Dude, you insulted their sisters,” Willie said, not making any effort to stop Luke. “You kinda brought this one on yourself.”

“I’m an only child, I don’t know how sibling rivalries work!”

Willie snorted, letting go of Luke to steal Julie’s pudding cup. “No matter what someone says they think about their sibling, you _never_ insult them. Ever. My sister could go away for murder, and if someone else said she was weird it would be on sight.”

Luke cocked his head. Julie ignored how he looked kind of like a confused puppy, “So I’m just never allowed to insult someone’s sibling?”

“It depends,” Alex said, shrinking in on himself when all eyes turned to him. “There’s criteria. My sister, Ava, was awful to this one girl in fifth grade, for no reason that I can remember. Jenny is allowed to insult Ava, because Ava deserves literally anything Jenny says about her. Say I started dating someone, eventually they would interact with her about as regularly as I do, at which point, sure, as long as they mean it with love. I can call her the devil for shredding my Whitney shirt, because right now she’s probably getting brunch with her friends in SoHo, and calling me a crazy bastard for the time I shaved her head.”

Willie choked on their juice, giving Alex the most obvious heart eyes Julie had ever seen. “The time you _what?”_

Alex shrugged self-consciously. “It’s a long story.”

“Woah, “ Reggie said, sneaking a chip off Luke’s plate. “You can’t just _say_ that and then not elaborate.”

Bobby snorted. “I know this one, Carrie thought it was the funniest fucking thing. Basically, our dear Alex here has this denim shirt that cost, like, two hundred dollars, and Ava found a vaguely similar one and ripped it up in front of him, right?”

“... yeah.” Alex sighed and nodded. “ She used it to curl her hair or something. So…”

“So you shaved her hair off,” Luke finished, eyes wide. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Alex rolled his eyes, shoving Luke gently. “I am too tall and too blond for you, we’ve been through this.”

“What.” Flynn said flatly. 

Luke sighed. “Now look at what you’ve done.” He turned to the rest of them. “It was for like two months a year ago, and it turns out I don’t like being the short one, and Lexi doesn’t like coming second to a guitar.”

Reggie wiggled his eyebrows. “Lexi?”

Julie held a hand up before they could run away with themselves, or before Alex could climb across the table to throttle either Luke or Reggie, which he kind of looked like he wanted to. “How about we give Alex a break, and figure out what kind of music we even want to make?”

“Shoptalk?” Bobby complained, swiping Flynn’s apple slices when she pushed them into the middle of the table. “Really? Right in front of my salad?”

“Um. Isn't that why you’re all here?” She asked slowly, glancing at each of the four boys. “To talk about the band?”

“Well, kind of,” Reggie said, waving a hand back and forth. “Because we’re here to spend time with you, because bands work better when the members are friends, and as close as I’m sure we could become with weekly five hour rehearsals, being actual, regular friends only happens through spending regular time together.”

Luke nodded. “Didn’t you _just_ invite Reggie to your house?”

“Yeah, for a study session,” Julie said, looking at Reggie. “Because he’s a maths genius and I'm barely passing Algebra?”

“Oh, right.” Reggie nodded, smile dimming a little. “Yeah, that’s totally cool.”

Alex stood up and brushed crumbs off his thighs. “Well, um. I better get going, then. I’ve got a paper due next week anyways.”

Julie blinked, confused, and then it clicked. “No, I didn't mean- I thought you guys wouldn’t want to be friends with _me,_ I didn’t mean that I didn't want to be friends with you.” She paused, “Except Luke, because last I checked, you’re the same little goblin bastard man who filled my locker with wet confetti two months ago.”

“That’s fair,” Luke agreed. “And I don’t wanna be friends with you anyway, because as far as I’m aware, you’re still the thieving lunatic who stole _all o_ f my guitar strings three days before my performance midterm.”

Flynn and Willie high-fived without looking. “That _was_ a pretty great plan.” 

Alex sat down, looking around them all, ignoring Luke’s indignant squawking. “So we’re doing this?”

Julie held her hand over the middle of the table. “Legends on three?”

\----

“So,” Reggie said as soon as she let him in the front door. “I know we had our fun friendship speech at lunch today, but you still actually want help with maths, right? Because my shoulder _kills_ from carrying all these textbooks and practice papers, so…”

Julie laughed and led him to her kitchen table. “Yeah, I actually need help with maths. It just… It does _not_ work for me, at all. I swear, every time I get taught something new, something old falls right out.”

“Oh, that’s so me with English,” Reggie said, dumping a bag on the table with a vaguely alarming thud. “Although, I do also get caught up with arguing about the significance of whether or not Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet before or after the mainstream acceptance of the heliocentric model with Mrs. Howe, so that might be my fault.”

“Oh, she mentioned that to our class,” Julie recalled, grabbing her notebook and pencil case before sitting down. “She hates you, I’m pretty sure.”

Reggie sighed and sat down next to her. “All I was saying is that it would’ve been a cool essay point. Not that I wanted to write the essay - I hate writing essays - she just kept talking at us about how masterful Shakespeare was, and Bobby likes scientific history almost as much as he likes actual science, because he’s a weirdo, so it seemed like a reasonable tangent.”

Julie nodded. “You meant, like, when Romeo describes Juliet as the sun, is he referring to himself orbiting her, or is she orbiting him, right? That would’ve been pretty cool.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Reggie grinned at her. “But I know you’re just trying to distract me from algebra, and it’s not working.”

“Aw, c’mon,” she pleaded. “I hate simultaneous equations, and I doubt you can make them fun, or easy.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I have no idea how to make them easy, but I'm pretty sure I can make them easy. Have you got, like, a homework you’ve been struggling with?”

Julie deflated and handed him the sheet that she was pretty sure was due in tomorrow. “I just don’t get it.”

Reggie quickly looked through her answers. “Well, the good news is that it's the same mistake that you keep making?”

“That’s _good_ news?” She questioned skeptically.

“Yeah, because everything else is right,” he explained. “So once you get that bit sorted out, everything else should fall into place.”

\----

“Hey, um, do you wanna stay the night?” Julie asked when Reggie started packing his stuff up. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but that’s kind of the point, and as long as you stay in the spare room, my dad won’t care, and we could, like, talk about boys, or whatever?”

“That sounds awesome, thanks, Julie.” Reggie smiled shyly. “Do you want me to pop out and get my own dinner? I don’t wanna impose, if your parents are ready to feed someone else.”

Julie shook her head. “That won’t be a problem,” she assured him, nausea curling in her stomach. “My mom… she died, a year ago. We’re adjusting, but.... My dad still forgets to cook for three, most nights.”

Reggie took her hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m so sorry,” he said, voice quiet. 

“Thank you,” she replied, matching his volume. After a moment she shook her head. “Anyway, um. Do you want to watch a movie, or something?”

He easily changed tune, and grinned evilly. “I believed you promised me boy talk?”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re gonna make me talk about _boys,”_ she complained dramatically, dragging him through to the living room. “Girls are _right_ there.”

Reggie followed, flopping onto the couch. He immediately winced and repositioned himself. "That’s so valid, Julie, that’s so, so valid.”

She grinned and offered her fist. “Bi solidarity, then?”

“Fuck, yeah,” he said, bumping her knuckles against hers. “Bobby, too. Well, he’s incredibly ace, so he just wants to be hugged by Chris Evans and Tessa Thompson, not slammed up against a wall by them, but the sentiment is the same.”

“That’s understandable, to be honest,” Julie admitted. “Like, ever just look at someone and think _wow, I bet they give awesome hugs?_ Because, I do, literally all the time.”

“Jason Momoa, outside of filming season,” Reggie replied immediately. “And, honestly? Willie. He looks like he’d give pretty great hugs. So does Alex, but also I think he’d stab me.”

Julie laughed. “I’m pretty sure he’s just too busy freaking out whenever he’s in Willie’s general vicinity to even realise he’s coming across a bit… prickly, until he gets swept up into conversation.”

“Ah.” Reggie nodded sagely. “Gay panic. I know it well.”

“You do?” Julie waved a hand imperiously. “Do tell?”

Reggie raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been dating a very pretty wrestler who asked for a lab coat with a pun on it for Christmas for a year. I think that says everything that needs to be said.”

“It absolutely does not,” she insisted, resting her chin on her hand. “Stories, c’mon.”

“Ugh, fine,” he relented, shifting until he was more comfortable. “There was this one time I almost set the lab on fire, because I was helping him with this practical he’d missed, and it was with the quick-fit glass stuff, you know the experiment where you do the thing with hydroxybenzenecarboxylic acid by boiling it in reflux with, like, ethanoic anhydride and phosphoric acid?”

Julie nodded slowly. “Yeah - the aspirin practical, right?”

“Yeah, that one.” He gave her a thumbs up. “Well, you remember how you have to add anti-bumping granules, and be careful with heating so that it doesn’t boil up in huge bubbles and fuck up the entire experiment?”

“You didn’t…”

Reggie blushed and smiled sheepishly. “In my defence, he’s a year above in chemistry, so this was during the epic muscle growth spurt he had last year, before we started going out, and he has this stupid white t-shirt with a dinosaur on the pocket, that he _insists_ on wearing even though it’s way too tight, and, like, how was I supposed to pay attention when he’d spilt water everywhere? Realistically?” 

“And this led to you almost setting the lab on fire, how?” Julie pressed, biting her lip to stop herself dissolving into giggles.

Reggie pulled a face and scratched the back of his neck. “The stuff in the flask boiled up, so he asked me to get cleaning spray and a cloth.”

“And?”

“Well, it was a biology lab - it was the only one free - so there was a spray bottle of ethanol next to the cleaning spray, and I was really flustered, _obviously,_ so I just… grabbed one?”

Julie whistled lowly. “Wow. That is… unimaginable levels of gay panic.”

“One time I tripped over my own bass because he told me he thought I looked good in this new jacket,” he added. “I sprained my ankle so hard a flake of bone came off.” 

“Reggie, buddy, you need to be wrapped in bubble wrap, what the fuck?” Julie asked, offering her hand in case he thought she meant it. 

He grinned and laced his fingers with hers. “Now, tell me about you and Luke.”

Julie felt her jaw drop, and she stammered in indignation for a moment. “There isn’t - I don’t - why would you..” After a moment she sighed and gave in. “Is it that obvious?”

Reggie laughed. “Not really, but Luke Patterson’s sleeveless tops and Bobby’s… everything were equally responsible for my bi awakening, so I know the look.”

“Yeah… I used to think I was gay,” Julie admitted. “Between Flynn, and like… all of Dirty Candy, and Luke, before he transitioned. And then Luke came out and I had my first class with Nick, and I started to think maybe I’m bi, and then I watched Wonderwoman and Thor: Ragnorok, and this was confirmed, a _lot_.”

“That’s so valid, they’re such equal-opportunity films. I remember Nick babbling for like three weeks about how Diana threw a tank, he was in awe.” Reggie nodded, just as his phone started ringing. 

“Shit, who’s that?” Julie asked. “Are you okay to stay the night or do you need to go?”

Reggie shrugged. “I’m fine to stay. It’s an unknown number.” He slid to answer, and put it on speaker. “Hello?”

Alex Mercer’s voice came through, a little tinny, but easily recognisable. “Um, hi? Is this Reggie?”

“Alex?” Reggie asked, eyebrows furrowed. “How did you even get my- wait, nevermind. You’re on speaker, and Julie is here, what is it?”

Alex cleared his throat. “Okay, um. I know we don’t know each other very well, and that I’ve probably come across a bit… erm, prickly, but Bobby gave me your number?”

“Bobby gave you it?” Reggie echoed, typing furiously. “How did you even have Bobby’s?"

“Um, yeah. Well, I asked Nick, who gave me Bobby’s, because all the sports boys are like, one big, mildly cultish friendship group, and anyway, he gave me yours, and you’re like, the only successful gay I know-”

“Wait,” Reggie cut him off, pulling a face at Julie. “You called _Bobby._ You… you realise you called my _boyfriend,_ right? Who is… also into men?”

Alex paused for a moment. “Bobby told me I have “ace energy” and said I should figure that out before I start asking for advice about Willie, but I don't really know what that means, except probably some soul searching and I really don’t have the emotional capacity for that right now,” he explained eventually.

Julie choked on her soda. “Hi, Alex. It means that he thinks you’re asexual.”

“Hi, Julie. Yeah, _way_ too much identity questioning for my senior year,” Alex confirmed, words smushing up as he spoke faster and faster. “Anyway, Carrie insists that Willie is… like, into me, or whatever, but if he thought I was straight then he probably wasn’t flirting, like _I_ originally thought they were, and I am… _far_ too anxious to ask them myself. So….”

“Well, as Willie’s best friend, the BFF-code states I can neither confirm nor deny any crushes,” Julie informed him, then softened at the panicked noise Alex made. “But… as someone with eyes, I _can_ tell you I think you have a good chance.”

Reggie giggled into the pillow he'd grabbed to smother himself with. “It’s the paraphrasing Bad Moms, for me.”

Julie rolled her eyes and smacked him with a cushion, taking a moment to give a mental nod to Bobby’s apparent prophetic powers. “Seriously, Alex, just talk to him.”

“Absolutely not,” Alex said immediately. “Carrie says I have very visible heart eyes, and then when I inevitably get rejected, it will have been obvious to everyone in the general vicinity, and then, and then I’ll have to move t-to Oklahoma to live with my… my sister and they have, like, _no_ good cheer teams, and then I’ll, and then I’ll lose my scholarship to Yale, my parents will have found out I’m g-gay-gay, so they sure as fuck, as fuck won’t be offering to pay for college, and then I’ll - I’ll have to work in retail or something, and get paid minimum wage for the fif-fifty panic attacks a day that I’m, that I’m incredibly liable to experience in the face of the slight-slightest hint of disapproval from the moms whose coffee I’ll pro-prob-probably spill everywhere.”

Reggie cleared his throat. “I have… no idea what to say to that?”

Alex laughed, oddly breathless. “Wow, sorry, I catastrophize a lot, This was… an incredibly stupid idea, and I'm gonna go now, and we can just pretend this never happened?”

Julie raised her gaze to the ceiling to pray for forgiveness momentarily. “Willie has had a crush on you since eighth grade, please just text them and put yourself out of your own misery, but, it’s totally fine that you’re freaking out, don’t worry about scaring us off.”

Reggie nodded immediately, then seemed to remember Alex couldn’t see him. “Oh, yeah, totally, man. Friends, right?”

“He’s… what,” Alex said flatly. 

Julie sighed. “Look, that was a major violation of the friendship code, or whatever, so I'm gonna owe him a lifetime supply of pudding, so you better use that information, Mercer. You may be tall, but I will dislocate your kneecaps.”

“Yes, ma’am? I’m gonna… I like my kneecaps how they-... see you both tomorrow?” Alex hung up, and Julie made eye contact with Reggie in the sudden silence for a minute before they both collapsed into laughter, Reggie hugging the pillow Julie had thrown at him, and Julie clutching the arm of the chair in a desperate bid to stay upright. 

Ten minutes later, Julie got a text from Willie. It was simply a screenshot of a text from Alex, and quickly a flurry of texts from both him and Flynn followed. 

Reggie peered over her shoulder. “Y’know, we totally need a band group chat.”

Julie laughed and shook her head. “It would be a warzone. You and Bobby and your weird old married couple bicker-flirting, Willie and Alex likely being absolutely smitten, me and Luke fighting-”

“-Flirting-” Reggie coughed, typing away absently on his phone. 

“- _fighting_ and Flynn just trying to make us be an actual successful band instead of a car crash of queers,”

“I’ve made a band group chat,” Reggie announced, not a minute later. “And it’s called a car crash of queers because I feel that it needs to be immortalised. Now, will you pretty please paint my nails? Bobby forgot to bring varnish to do it at lunch.”

“Yeah, sure. Red?” she checked as leaned forward at possibly the most awkward angle possible to grab the tray of varnish under the coffee table.

Reggie nodded quickly. “Of course, what other option even is there?”

Julie grinned and raised her eyebrows teasingly. “Do we need to cover colour theory? Were you too busy going to college maths to do art?”

\----

“‘Sup, losers, lesbians, Julie,” Flynn announced, waving as they sat down at lunch the next day. “We have an incoming willex shipment in T-minus three minutes, they’re insufferable, adorable, and I've overheard three people complain about one or the other being taken.”

“Dibs on lesbian,” Bobby said immediately, then grinned at Reggie. “Aw, babe, you’re a loser.”

Reggie rolled his eyes. “No, because unless I’m also a lesbian, then you’re a lesbian dating a guy, which either makes me your beard, or you’re right back to bi.”

Bobby sighed dramatically. “Fine. I guess you can be a lesbian too."

Flynn coughed. “You’re both losers, Carrie is obviously the lesbian?”

“Thanks, Flynn, gaydar on point.” Carrie wiggled her fingers in a little wave. “I’m just here to say that this is Alex’s first time actually being invested in a relationship, and if any of you make him feel embarrassed or weird, I will kill you, psychologically, socially, emotionally.” 

Reggie tipped his head slightly. “That’s fair.”

Carrie nodded solemnly. “That’s all,” she said, then turned, hair flipping over her shoulder so elegantly Julie felt a quick spike of envy, then walked off. 

Flynn sighed and rested her chin on her hand. “Losers… I think I’m in love.”

Bobby shook his head frantically. “Carrie by herself fills the quotient of terrifying girls - shit, sorry - people, in the Wilson household, Flynn, you cannot join her, I will die.”

“All I’m hearing is that you think I’ve got a chance,” Flynn said, steepling their fingers together and grinning evilly. 

“Oh, sure you do,” Reggie said cheerfully. “Carrie’s type is literally just femme-aligned people and women who would slay her enemies for her.”

Bobby sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much. It’s concerning.”

Luke appeared moments later, slightly out of breath. “Guys, Alex is smiling, which never happens in public, we _have_ to make sure this works out for him.”

Julie nodded slowly, not really understanding what he meant until Alex and Willie walked in. “Um. Cool?”

They weren’t even holding hands; Alex had his gym back in one hand and a stack of notebooks in the other, and Willie, as ever, had one hand on his skateboard and the other on his helmet, but Alex had a little rainbow badge pinned to his jacket, and a faint pink glow to his cheeks, and he was laughing at something Willie had said, which, she realised, just like Luke said, she’d never really seen him do. 

Willie subtly shot her a thumbs up, and she turned back to the table before the two could get any closer. “Agreed. Operation Willex? Commenced.”

Flynn made a sound of disapproval. “We have a band to focus on, and they look to be doing plenty well on their own. Operation Willex has been shut down by Mission Control.”

Julie sighed. “Fine. Operation Be Supportive And Non-Invasive Friends and Operation Build The Band are commenced?”

“Operations approved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully will have some fun cheerleader alex content for y'all next week, but have a wonderful New Years, kiddos


	3. Gay Panic, all caps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex looked up and laughed nervously. “Okay, so I know I’ve already accidentally revealed that I might be a complete disaster with no dating experience, but I am a complete disaster with no dating experience, and Willie is funny and pretty and I don’t really understand why he’s interested in me, but I have three hours to figure out how a date works, and if I go to my mom she’ll start talking about girls and how excited she is to have a daughter in law, and you may be thinking “wow, something doesn’t add up there” and you’d be right, but the important part is, there is a very cute person I need to impress, and I have no idea how to do it, so.” He exhaled heavily, practically deflating. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi kiddos!! this is at a weird time because my mum found my brother's vape stuff and I needed to be involved in the drama, but here: have some gay panic
> 
> I promise there will be actual band content starting with the next chapter, but in the meantime: enjoy :))

Despite the progress they’d been making, both as a band and a group of friends, Julie wasn’t expecting Alex to show up at her door three hours before when Willie had told her they’d planned their first date. 

He had a duffle bag in hand and looked more stressed than she’d ever seen him, which was impressive, because yesterday when Luke had suggested he chill a little when his drumming had gotten a little heavy, Alex had thrown a drumstick at him. Twice. 

Julie opened the door, leaning against the door jam so he didn’t just walk in, a glass of orange juice in hand. It wasn’t that she expected him to do it, but Bobby had disappeared halfway through practice and reappeared with her pickles, so she was more worried about their lack of boundaries than she’d previously been. “Alex? What are you doing here?” 

Alex looked up and laughed nervously. “Okay, so I know I’ve already accidentally revealed that I might be a complete disaster with no dating experience, but I am a complete disaster with no dating experience, and Willie is funny and pretty and I don’t really understand why he’s interested in me, but I have three hours to figure out how a date works, and if I go to my mom she’ll start talking about girls and how excited she is to have a daughter in law, and you may be thinking “wow, something doesn’t add up there” and you’d be right, but the important part is, there is a very cute person I need to impress, and I have no idea how to do it, so.” He exhaled heavily, practically deflating. 

Julie blinked. “Um.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Shit, I didn’t mean to dump that on you, I’m sorry. I meant. Um, I meant that you’re Willie’s best friend, and you always look great, and I may be gay but I’m still a teenage boy, I have no idea what to wear.” 

“Ohh,” she said, nodding. “How come you aren’t asking Carrie?” 

“Because Carrie will tell me I’m a “bad bitch” and that I need to stop worrying about impressing someone who clearly already likes me, or tell me that my legs look great in heels, and neither of those is what I need right now,” he replied frankly, making finger quotes around bad bitch. 

Julie choked on her orange juice and moved away so he could come in. “Oh, wow. Do you wanna come in? And heels? Really?” 

Alex shrugged and walked in, looking around to avoid making eye contact. “Halloween. Dirty Candy went as DC heroes, and since they all were guy heroes, they said if I was gonna join in, I had to be Wonder Woman. My legs do look great in heels, but I’m not going on a first date in them.”

“Fair play.” She led him up to her room. “So, asides general gay panic, what’s the problem?” 

“Um, well, we’re going to that coffee shop by the skate park, and then going to see a movie, so it doesn’t need to be anything fancy, but Willie always looks amazing so I can’t just, go in an old hoodie or something, but I also don’t want to panic and go in the other direction and overdress,” Alex explained, then smiled shyly. “Plus, I figured hanging out with a friend would be a good idea to distract myself?”

“Oh.” She smiled back, a pulse of warmth curling in her chest. She’d not really been sure of where she stood with him, even though he was always nice enough, and it was surprisingly comforting to hear him say that he considered them friends. “Well, then. You get me up to speed on what’s been happening with you, I’ll paint your nails, and then we’ll pick some clothes, which I’m assuming is what’s in the bag?” 

“Oh, um.” Alex shook his head and jammed his hands in his pocket. “I can’t, uh, you can’t paint my nails. My parents are… not okay, with that kind of stuff. So…” 

“Shit, Alex, I’m sorry.” She squeezed his shoulder gently and sat on her bed, patting the space next to her. “I could totally give you eyeliner? Willie would  _ die.”  _

Alex’s eyes widened slightly and he sat down next to her. “Really? Like Reggie’s? That looks so cool.”

“Yeah, like Reggie’s.” Julie nodded. “Carrie never made you try it?”

Alex snorted. “Kayla does awesome drag makeup, so I am a regular victim of that, but nothing… I don’t wanna say masculine, but I also do? Like… he doesn’t wear it to look girly, or anything, it just adds to the vibe? I don’t know if that makes sense.”

Julie nodded slowly. “No, it does. I know what you mean.” She grabbed the eyeliner pencil she’d picked up last weekend to get her basket total high enough for a deal, but not used yet. “You’re not supposed to share eye makeup, so you can just have this if you like it?” 

“Oh, thank you.” He flushed faintly. “I’ll pay you back for it?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” she dismissed. “Now, tell me what’s been going on with you? I don’t think we’ve ever really talked, outside of workshopping songs and stuff. And sit still, eyes closed.”

He did as she asked, sitting almost completely still, asides the steady beat he drummed into his thigh. “Um. What do you want to know? I’m not really that interesting.”

“How about… how do you know Luke?” She asked, gently dragging the pencil along his eyelid. “I mean, obviously we go to the same school, but you kinda swim in different circles.”

“Back before Luke came out, our parents were pretty sure we were gonna get married,” Alex admitted. “Which is weird, because we didn’t actually date until a while after, but anyways, he briefly tried dance, when he was six or seven, and I’ve been dancing since… forever. I let him lead and lift me instead of the other way around, because I’m a noodle, and we’ve been friends ever since.” 

Julie snorted and used a wipe to clean away a small error. “Don’t you regularly lift girls that weigh, like, a hundred and thirty pounds directly over your head?” 

Alex smiled, and Julie got the feeling that if his eyes were open, he’d roll them. “Yeah, after, like, five years of letting Luke drag me to the gym with him to lift weights and train for Ironman runs. I was the skinniest kid, and I’m still not built the way I would be if I did, like, football.”

“Fair enough,” she acknowledged, moving to the other eye. “So, how come your parents let you dance? If that’s too intrusive, just say, but they don’t let you paint your nails, but cheer and ballet are fine?” 

“Why do straight guys join cheer and dance?” He asked, smile somewhere between teasing and bitter. “Besides, I was a tight-strung kid. The breathing techniques they teach you so you can dance for hours, the compartmentalisation so you can keep going after a mistake in front of a crowd. It helps, with my anxiety.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Julie said, using the wipe to clean up the line carefully. “How’d you get to cheer from dance?” 

Alex opened his eyes when she moved her hands away from his face. “Carrie. She’s a force of nature. When she decided she wanted to do it so she could incorporate some cool throws into Dirty Candy’s routine, she dragged me with her, and I really enjoyed it, so we stuck with it. Now, your turn.”

“What do you mean, my turn?” She asked, leaning back to get a proper view. “Open your eyes really wide, I’m gonna put a bit on your waterline.” 

“On my what?” He complied regardless, looking up. “And, I don’t know. You’re an amazing singer and pianist, and you have awesome best friends, and you walked up to Bobby and Reggie, who objectively look terrifying, to ask them to join a band, and you have some weird flirt-feud with Luke, but you work with him anyway. There’s got to be a story or two in there somewhere.” 

“Like, the edge of your eyelid, where your lashes are,” Julie explained, then shrugged and started lightly lining his waterline. “My mom played and sang. Piano, guitar, cello. A bit of everything. She was incredible. She taught me to play the piano, and to sing.” 

“She sounds amazing,” Alex said quietly. 

“She was,” Julie agreed, doing the other eye carefully. “Willie and Flynn have been my friends since… damn, like fourth grade. Just the same type of crazy, y’know? We clicked immediately.” 

“I always wished I had friends like that,” Alex admitted. “I mean. Not that the girls aren’t great - they are. I love them, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. But… it’s like, I get to be one part of myself around them, and sometimes I wish I had friends that I could be more of a typical guy around, if that makes sense? Maybe I’m underestimating them, but… I like the person I am around you guys just as much as I like the person I am around the girls, but they’re very different.” 

“No, I get what you mean. For me… I guess Flynn and Willie  _ are  _ that. Sure we’re the same type of crazy, but they’re different enough that I feel like being around them brings out all of me,” Julie said as she nodded, grabbing her phone to take a picture. “Lean back a bit for me… there. Maybe we can be that for you. You don’t need only one group of friends. I have you four now, and I can workshop songs with you in a way I’ve only ever done with my mom, and you do bring out my inner dumbass in a way that not even Willie does. I can’t believe Reggie talked me into doing shots of pickle juice.”

Alex moved as directed, shooting her a small, pleased smile. “Yeah, I hope so. Those pickle shots were glorious, and I thought Luke was gonna throw up, which was obviously the highlight of my day. Anyways, I’m bringing it round to me again, and I want to know more about you. You’re all wise and shit, but you’ve gotta have some funny stories.” 

Julie rolled her eyes and handed him the phone. “Fine. Layout all your clothes and we’ll figure out what will make Willie give you the most obvious heart eyes, and I’ll tell you about the time Flynn and I decided we could out-skate Willie and both ended up with concussions.” 

Alex gasped quietly as he looked at the phone. “Jules… this looks awesome, thank you.” He grinned at her. “Can I, um, can I hug you?” 

“Yeah, of course,” she assured him quickly. “‘Course you can.” 

He shuffled closer and wrapped an arm around her gently, pulling her into his side. “I know I’m a bit… prickly, I guess, so thanks for giving me a bit of time. I’m just not very good with new people, especially when they’re best friends with the person I’ve been crushing on since seventh grade.”

Julie laughed and leaned into him before shoving him lightly and pointing firmly to the duffle bag. “Clothes. Now. And, I think you should say that to Reggie and Bobby - and tell Reggie that you like his eyeliner. You’re kind of intimidating when you’re not blushing and panicking over a person I've seen in seven different casts.”

Alex nodded firmly, apparently ignoring her final comment despite how his cheeks tinged pink. “I will,” he promised, tipping clothes out onto the bed. “Just, um, before you tell me about your disaster skating experience, can I ask your advice on something?”

Julie smiled encouragingly. “Yeah, shoot.”

“It’s... I’m- It’s just hard, with those two. I don’t know if I’m supposed to address them as a couple, or if it’s weird to invite one of them to something. Like, I really want to get my ear pierced - maybe my helix, so I can kind of hide it in my hair - and Carrie and Kayla insist they’re not going to watch me go pass out because I want to increase my gay vibes but hate needles, and I think Reggie would be a good person to ask, but, am I supposed to invite Bobby? I don’t think he’d get much out of it,” he rambled, laying out two t-shirts, two sweaters and a button-up, as well as two pairs of ripped jeans, one with embroidered flowers, cargo trousers that looked to have a zip at the knee, and finally a pair of shorts. 

Julie watched, eyes steadily getting wider as he pulled each item out. “Wow, I did not expect so many options. You really said gay panic in all caps, huh?”

Alex flushed and shrugged weakly. “Carrie told me the jeans make my ass look nice? But Kayla said the cargo ones have oddly gay energy, and Kirsten said shorts are always a good plan, even though that seems kinda fake, and Carla got me the flower jeans for Christmas, and her and Stacy from cheer both say that I look nice in the Bowie t-shirt, but Ava always says I look best in sweaters, and my mom once said you should always wear a button-up on the first date. So… I brought all of those?”

Julie considered making a joke about being bi and expected to make decisions, but Alex kind of looked like if she stared at him wrong he’d cry and never speak to her again, so she decided just to include it when she relayed everything to Reggie and Flynn later. “Okay, so. If how it makes your ass look is part of the decision-making process, I’m a need you to try on all the trousers for me. Start with the shorts, just so I can confirm that they’re a no.”

Alex nodded obligingly. “Um… bathroom?”

“Oh, there’s a screen.” She motioned to the antique screen her mom had given her during her period drama phase. “So, about Reggie and Bobby… just text Reggie and ask him? And maybe, if you don’t wanna feel bad about not including Bobby, invite him to do something else? You both toss people around competitively, offer to do a gym session with him or something.”

“You..” Alex cleared his throat and disappeared behind the screen. “You think he’d be interested in that?”

Julie nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Fuck yeah. Now, are you ready for this story?” 

“Oh, definitely,” Alex said, reappearing in the shorts. They didn’t look terrible for what they were, but Alex obviously saw the disdain in her expression, because he snorted. “My thoughts exactly. What do you want me to try on next?”

Julie hummed. “I’m gonna discard the button up immediately, it’s way too formal for what you’re doing, and I'm leaning towards a sweater over one of the t-shirts, because Willie will conveniently forget those because… arms, so then you can offer it when they inevitably get cold.”

Alex watched her with wide eyes. “I’m coming here before every date I ever go on. Forever.”

“Damn right,” she agreed. “Let's go with… jeans, Bowie top, cream sweater.” Once he’d grabbed them and retreated behind the screen, she laid back. “So, basically, it was the summer before freshman year, right? And Willie went to Avignon with his family for a couple of weeks, and he came back with this awesome new trick he’d learned from his cousin, so obviously, we got dragged to the skatepark, like, immediately.”

“Obviously,” Alex echoed, edging out from behind the screen with a pathetic attempt at jazz hands. “What do you think?”

Julie hummed and sat up. “I like the sweater. Take it off so I can see the t-shirt?”

“It’s a bit worn,” Alex warned her as he tugged the jumper over his head. 

“Yeah, but it’s cute. Okay, swap it for the Whitney shirt,” she instructed. “I like those jeans, but if you want to give the flower ones a try then go for it.”

Alex nodded and grabbed both the top and the jeans. “Okay, so you’re at the skatepark, and-?”

“Oh, right.” Julie laughed. “So, we’re at the skatepark, and Willie insists this trick they learned is so easy, even though it looks hard, that me and Flynn - who cannot use a skateboard, at  _ all _ \- could do it. And Flynn is the most competent person in the world, asides  _ maybe  _ Carrie, but I’ve not seen Carrie around attractive women, so I can’t fully judge, so she’s up for it, and I’m not about to say  _ no _ .”

“Oh, god.” Alex laughed, reappearing. He gestured down to the flower trousers. “I think I like this? Then with the cream sweater, because the other one is too...uh, busy?” He winced.

Julie nodded. “No, that’s totally right, I think you look awesome.”

He turned pink and smiled brightly. “Thanks, Jules. And, for future story-telling, Carrie is useless around attractive women. One time, we watched Kill Bill - I can’t remember why - and when Lucy Lieu had the dual swords? Carrie lost all function.”

“On par with Flynn, then.” Julie grinned and motioned for him to sit back down next to her. “You can tidy up later, and you can grab the bag after practice tomorrow?”

“Sounds good.” Alex nodded and sat down next to her, curling up like some kind of cat. 

“So, Flynn is totally hypercompetent, so they go first, except, the move is  _ not _ as easy as Willie made it out to be, not anywhere close. Flynn fell because although they got the move right, they fucked the landing because she doesn’t actually know how to skate, and her hade made this awful thud, but they insisted they were fine, so I gave it a go,” she continued, hiding her face in her hands at the deadpan look Alex gave her. 

“You saw your friend hit her head, but because they insisted they were fine, you decided to give it a go anyway? I… okay” He summarised, exhaling slowly. “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one in the band?”

Julie raised both eyebrows. “Firstly, You brought nine articles of clothing to my house because you’re panicking about going on a date with someone who thinks hot dog socks are acceptable. Secondly, if Flynn says she’s fine, you believe it, and you don’t push it if you value your life. So, anyway, I tried it, and I also fell, though not on the landing, I just tripped and hit my head on a lamppost, and then half an hour later I got really dizzy, so Willie dragged us to A&E, and now he refuses to let me anywhere near his skateboard.”

Alex nodded, looking vaguely shellshocked. “That is… the  _ only _ valid response.”

Julie shrugged. “That’s fair. Wanna tell me why Bobby thinks you have ace vibes?”

“We were partners for life science,” he explained. “For like four years. Apparently, through the whole of sex-ed, I looked how he felt.”   


“That’ll just about do it, yeah.” Julie grabbed his hand. “What do you think about it?”

Alex pulled a face. “If I ignore…  _ everything _ I know about what teenage boys are supposed to be like, then yeah. The label makes sense, and it all sounds super uninteresting to me, and the biological aspect makes me want to throw up in my mouth. But I don’t want to deal with the hell that is questioning my identity again, so I’m just ignoring it.”

“You’re just ignoring it?” She echoed, unsure of what the correct response to that was. 

“Yup.” Alex nodded, then smiled at her easily. “So, tell me about the song you showed us last practice? The lyrics were incredible.”

\----

Alex arrived at practice the next day practically glowing, the way he had been the day after the first conversation with Willie about potential relationship stuff, and he immediately pulled Reggie aside after greeting Julie with a brief side-hug and Willie with a kiss on the cheek.

Bobby appeared at her side a fraction of a second later. “You owe me a bonding session, now, Molina,” he announced

Julie blinked. “I do?”

“I mean, you had a sleepover with Reg, and Alex got a boyfriend, you had a… thing with Alex, and now Reg has got a new best friend, and I finally have someone to go to the gym with who can tell me how the  _ fuck _ cheer bases have that much arm strength and still be noodles, so clearly Julie-bonding-sessions have a knock-on positive effects for the band, and since you and Luke haven’t figured your shit out yet, I figured it’s my turn next,” Bobby explained, eyes on Reggie as he babbled excitedly about piercing placements and local parlours to Alex.

Julie laughed. “You can just say you want to hang out with me, y’know?”

“I wasn’t-”

“I’ve seen you tear up because Reggie wore a hoodie with sleeves that were just way too long while he picked up Luke’s puppy, you can’t convince me you’re a badass,” she reminded him. “But hanging out would be cool. Got anything in mind?”

Bobby sighed petulantly but nodded. “There’s this science of music composition workshop thing being held at UCLA in two weeks. Since you’re our writer, and we have a debut gig to qualify for the showcase in a month, I figured you might be interested?”

Julie smiled and nudged her shoulder against his lightly. “I’d love that.” 

He nodded awkwardly. “Cool.”   


When he didn’t move, she snorted and rolled her eyes. “There’s a jar of pickles in the mini-fridge.”

“You’re literally my favourite person,” he told her sincerely. “Me and Reg are baking cupcakes tomorrow, I’ll bring you one on Monday.”   


“Thanks, Bobby.” She grinned, then turned on Willie once he’d gone to find the pickles. “So, how was it?”

Willie avoided her gaze, cheeks flushing, but crumbled when Flynn reappeared next to them as well. “It was really nice,” he admitted. “I mean, I knew it would be good because we get along, and he’s cute, but I thought it might be weird, or awkward, because we actually don’t know each other super well, but I had a really good time.”   


“Aw, good,” Flynn said, worming her way into his arms. “He knows I’ll kill him if he hurts you?”

Willie laughed and kissed her hair lightly. “The first thing he said was that he was fully aware you can and will kill him and that I need to be aware that Carrie is his Flynn, so can shovel talks be cancelled out.”

Flynn made an impressed face. “Smart, I like it."

“And, he thinks you two would be good together,” they added, winking at Julie.”

Julie laughed as Flynn’s entire demeanour changed.

“When does practice start, again?” they asked. 

Julie shrugged. “Whenever Luke gets here. He said he had a doctor’s appointment though, and that they can sometimes overrun.”

“Well, I’m gonna steal Alex for a bit, then,” Flynn informed them. “Julie, you’re on grilling Willie duty. I will both make sure he’s good enough for our Willie, and get the deets about Carrie.”   


“Yes, ma’am,” Julie agreed, giggling when Willie groaned. 

“You guys are the worst,” he complained, scrubbing a hand over his face. 

Julie and Flynn crossed their arms in unison. “Oh, so you don’t want to talk about your date for an hour?”

Willie sighed. “Okay, so maybe. Anyway, Flynn now’s your chance.” 

All three of them turned to watch Reggie sprawl out onto the couch, head pillowed on Bobby’s thigh. Flynn rubbed her hands together. “Wish me luck,” they said, brushing imaginary lint off their skirt. 

“I think Alex is the one who needs luck, here,” Willie protested. “Besides, you don’t need luck to score a girl, Flynn. You’re fucking amazing, and I’m pretty sure Carrie knows it.”

Flynn tipped her head in acknowledgement. “That’s true.”

Julie whooped. “You’ve got this. Besides, he’s just one anxious queer, and you’re managing a whole band of them.”


	4. Your Child Is Not Fine, They Refer To Dizzy Spells As Internal Beat Drops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie was kind of terrified about hanging out with Bobby by himself. 
> 
> In the two weeks following her hangout with Alex, the seven of them had definitely gotten a lot closer, and despite their refusal to just let bad blood lay, with her and Luke creating some magic between them, (even if writing sessions had to be mediated by at least the boys, who were too chaotic to allow a conversation topic to be maintained for more than five minutes, if not Flynn and Willie, who had no tolerance for their bullshit) but Julie still felt that Bobby was a bit… distant. Not because he was a dick, or because he looked down on them - and he seemed just as happy to join in on the random conversations and make jokes - but because even though Flynn had tentatively started dating his sister, none of them really knew anything about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may be wondering: meg, wasn’t this due a week ago?   
> Yes   
> Yes it was   
> However my serotonin stonks went 📉 and it’s hard to write crack like that, hence the week of heavier fics where I vented a bit   
> However, I know have enough serotonin to do the funny, so here you kids go

Julie was kind of terrified about hanging out with Bobby by himself. 

In the two weeks following her hangout with Alex, the seven of them had definitely gotten a lot closer, and despite their refusal to just let bad blood lay, with her and Luke creating some magic between them, (even if writing sessions had to be mediated by at least the boys, who were too chaotic to allow a conversation topic to be maintained for more than five minutes, if not Flynn and Willie, who had no tolerance for their bullshit) but Julie still felt that Bobby was a bit… distant. Not because he was a dick, or because he looked down on them - and he seemed just as happy to join in on the random conversations and make jokes - but because even though Flynn had tentatively started dating his sister, none of them really knew anything about him. 

Sometimes he’d not show up for a couple hours and Reggie would quietly inform them that he was having a bad day, but not to mention it, and when he did arrive, it was impossible to tell that he’d not been doing so hot, and so Julie just kind of felt… distant from him. 

Bobby, apparently, had decided to change that. 

He showed up outside her house three hours before the science of composition seminar he’d gotten tickets for, and instead of doing what a normal person would do, and coming to the door, he just texted to say he was outside, then honked his horn a couple times, grinning and waving when she finally left her house. 

Julie dropped into the passenger seat. “Dude, what the fuck?”

Bobby just shrugged and offered her the aux cord. “We’re picking up Reg on the way back from the seminar, because we’re going out for dinner tonight, and this looks like a date to your neighbours, who are  _ very _ nosy, by the way, and then after we’ve dropped you off, I’ll kiss him, at least one neighbour will think i’m cheating on you, and someone will bake you a cake. I like cake, and Alex didn’t save us any of the courgette and lime one he made last weekend, so I've been craving cake for three days, so this has a good outcome for everyone, unless you don’t like cake, in which case you’ll have just mildly embarrassed yourself by having horrific taste in men.”

“You’ve never lived in a suburban neighbourhood, have you?” Julie asked, even as a glance around confirmed that three of her neighbours were peering out of their windows. 

“Absolutely not,” Bobby agreed, wrinkling his nose up. “My dad’s kinda big on the whole privacy front. And the not-having-to-speak-to-people front. And the having-somewhere-to-land-his-helicopter front.”

Julie blinked. “I’m- what?” 

“Nothing,” Bobby said quickly, pulling away from the curb. “So, how’s it hanging in Julie-land?” After a moment he winced. “I’m never saying that again. How are you?” 

“Oh my god,” Julie laughed covering her mouth with her hand. “You’re a dork!” 

“I have a wrestling scholarship to MIT,” Bobby protested. “I am  _ not  _ a dork!” 

“You are!” She insisted, plugging her phone in. “You're dating the most adorable person on the planet not as some opposites attract thing, you’re madly in love because you’re both dorks, and you probably watch StarTrek together with big whiteboards to see who can disprove the space maths faster.”

Bobby paused, then tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Yeah… I guess that’s fair. Reg is still cuter than me, and we’ve never done that, though. Reg can suspend his belief in science spectacularly, and if i question a sci-fi show, i get no kisses for, like, several days, because he’s adorable and overly invested.”

“Oh, totally. And, that’s kind of valid, to be honest. If i thought you guys were just gonna prove everything wrong i wouldn’t wanna watch sci-fi with you..” Julie nodded, scrolling through her playlist to find music she thought Bobby would vaguely approve of. “Except really shitty sci-fi that deserves to be ruthlessly torn apart.” After a moment of shared commiseration of terrible sci-fi films, she grinned at him. “So… how come Flynn hadn’t mentioned this helicopter to me?” 

“Oh, we’re not allowed to show anyone but significant others either the helicopter or the plane,” Bobby explained. “Of at least a year. Care-bear probably just didn’t want to mention it when she couldn’t take Flynn up.” 

Julie nodded slowly, then glanced sideways at Bobby as he steered them onto the motorway. “How long before you showed Reg one of those?” 

A pink tinge crawled up his cheeks, but he stared resolutely at the road. “We’d already been best friends for six years, okay?” 

“How long?” She pressed, grinning. 

Bobby sighed. “We used the plane for our second date,” he admitted. “Two weeks after he asked me out.”

“ _ He  _ asked  _ you _ out?” Julie echoed, eyebrows shooting up towards her hairline. “Huh. Did not see that one coming.” 

“If you genuinely thought I had the balls to ask the best person literally alive to go on a date with me, I am a  _ much  _ better actor than I thought,” he told her, scoffing. “Me make the first move, what do you take me for? He looks like a gender-bent Disney Princess and you think  _ I  _ could’ve been the one to ask him out?” 

Julie laughed, putting her phone down when she realised talking to him would probably be just as fun as jamming out. “You know you could’ve just said Disney Prince, right?” 

Bobby shot her a scandalised look. “The only Disney Prince  _ near  _ pretty enough is Phillip, and even then, he’s nowhere near. Reg is  _ obviously  _ Rapunzel from Tangled.” 

“That’s fair,” Julie conceded. “Definitely fair.” Then, “wait, so you were supposed to wait a  _ year,  _ and you barely managed two weeks?” 

“I thought we’d moved on from that,” Bobby protested, offering her a pack of fruit gums. 

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head, taking a couple from him. “Why did you even need the plane for your second date?” 

The pink on Bobby’s cheeks darkened. “He likes pizza and ice cream… I have a private plane at my disposal… my dad’s name carries some weight…” 

Julie felt her jaw go slack. “Please tell me you didn’t take him to Italy for your second date.”

“We went bowling at midnight and then got pancakes at Denny’s for our first, third, and eighth date,” Bobby said instead of denying her accusations. “So, it balances out.”

“It absolutely does  _ not,”  _ she insisted. “Oh my god, you took a  _ plane  _ for your second date? Reggie would be happy with a microwaveable pizza and refrozen ice cream, and you can’t even  _ eat  _ refrozen ice cream.” 

“Yeah, I know that, but it was a  _ date,  _ Julie,” Bobby sighed, like he was disappointed in her. “God, it’s a good thing you’ve got us to bully Luke into planning nice dates for you when you two finally get over your weird feuding thingy, because apparently you’d accept shitty pizza and inedible ice cream.” 

Julie shook her head, laughing despite herself. “I’m not saying  _ I  _ would, I’m saying that  _ Reg  _ would.”

Bobby sniffed delicately. “Poor Luke,” he lamented dramatically. “Pining for a girl who would take him out for whatever the bare minimum she thought he’d be okay with was for a date. One day, Jules, when you’re older, you’ll understand that you should  _ treasure  _ the important things and people in your life, not give them awful pizza and ice cream they can’t eat. And when that day comes, I will be here, and I will lend you the plane, and you can take him for gelato and pizza. Or sushi and saké. Whatever, just as long as you do it properly.”

“Aw, Bobbers,” Julie said, pressing her hand against her chest. “You’d let me borrow the plane? Thanks, man.”

Bobby snorted. “I think we’ve already established that I have very little regard for the rules of who can and can’t use it. You go for it, but only when you’ve grown a pair and asked Luke out.” 

Julie frowned, googling the seminar they were supposed to be attending. They were maybe forty minutes at most away, and it still didn’t start for two hours. “Firstly, why did you pick me up so early? Secondly, why would I be the one asking Luke out?” 

Bobby squinted at her. “Uh, because i wanted to go for burgers and Reg is a pizza guy through and through, and because you’re Julie Molina, and the Julie Molinas of the world do not wait for the Luke Pattersons of the world to get their heads out of their asses, they say “fuck you and your very nice arms, I’m steering this ship” and then you sweep him off  _ his  _ feet?” 

“Oddly specific,” Julie teased. “And fuck you and your very nice arms?” 

Bobby didn’t blush in the slightest, just shot her a sly smile. “Hey, there are only three things I want from a guy. One, nice arms, two, a decent brain, three, for him to be Reggie Peters. Luke got two out of three of those things. I’d never go there, because I’m essentially married and perfectly happy about it, but he’s nice to look at.” 

“Firstly, okay, that’s valid, his arms are very nice,” Julie started, punching Bobby’s shoulder gently. “Is it weird that he’s ended up forming a band with four people who have-slash-had a crush on Luke Patterson and Luke Patterson? Secondly, you’re not getting away with being adorable just because you’re teasing me about liking a guy who I also happen to hate.” 

“I’m not adorable, you take that back,” he protested, handing her his phone with a gps pulled up. “Tell me where to go when we get off the motorway, please. And, yeah, it’s probably weird, but, like, Reg and Luke have both liked Alex, and I think he’s fairly nice to look at, so..”

“Reggie liked Alex?” Julie asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “Damn, the dating pool at our school is apparently tiny. And you’re incredibly sappyt, Mr Essentially-Married.”

Bobby shrugged, leaning back awkwardly to grab a bottle of soda from the footwell in the backseat, and passed it to Julie for her to open it. “Not a crush on a personal level. Just the same as his crush on Luke, and my… whatever for Luke. Pretty dude, killer voice, nice arms. With Alex it’s pretty dude, can do the splits, nice arms, and Alex is decent at maths, which is always likely to pique Reg’s interest.”

Julie twisted the cap off and drank a little before handing it over. “You sound remarkably non-jealous for a guy who just called himself practically married five minutes ago.”

“Am i supposed to be jealous?” Bobby looked away from the road for long enough to raise an eyebrow. “Even if Reg were seriously romantically interested in them, Alex was suspected straight, and is now ass over teakettle for Willie, and you and Luke have had a weird feud thingy since before I even moved here. Besides,” he joked, drinking half the soda concerningly quickly. “My parents have basically adopted Reg. He has his own room at my place, i’m pretty sure my parents like him more than they like me, and I'm pretty sure he likes my dad’s cinema membership card more than he likes me.”

—— 

Directing Bobby to the burger place he’d pulled up on his phone wasn’t  _ quite _ in the top ten most stressful experiences of Julie’s life, but it was close enough, and when they finally reached the place and she could stumble out of the car she did, grinning despite herself as Bobby laughed. 

“You’re a  _ bastard _ ,” she informed him seriously, the effect ruined by how hard she was having to focus to stop herself dissolving into equally uncomposed laughter. “You absolute  _ bastard!” _

Bobby made a vaguely concerning whimpering sound, and when she turned to check if he was alright, she found him banging his head against the steering wheel, tears streaming down his face as his shoulders shook violently with silent laughs. 

“You can’t just drop on me out of nowhere that you don’t know your left from your right whilst i’m in the  _ middle  _ of giving you directions,” she continued, gesticulating wildly even though he couldn’t see her. “How the fuck can you even  _ drive _ if you don’t know your left from your right?”

The question hung in the air until Bobby finally calmed down enough to answer her, and by that point, she’d finally managed to stop her shoulders shaking helplessly. “Reg just usually points,” he got out breathlessly. “Or picks something out on the street.”

Julie narrowed her eyes, but obligingly hooked her arm around his elbow when he offered after locking the car. “How do you drive by yourself? Or at all, really?”

Bobby just shrugged and led her inside, still hiccuping. “I don’t, really. My boyfriend lives in my house, like, ninety percent of the time, so it’s not like i leave to go visit him, and my dad likes driving, and my o’pa hates  _ me _ driving because they’re paranoid because of the one time i broke their statue, like, the first time i ever drove, before my first lesson, so i only really drive Reg places, and he’s used to me.”

“Y’know, they should make a sitcom about you two,” Julie said, sitting at the first table they reached. “Pure but chaotic queer geniuses attempt to function like normal people. They may not have normal gay challenges like being able to drive, or do maths, or curb caffeine addiction, but we’ll watch them face down more interesting challenges, like how to tell left from right, and whether it’s acceptable to not explain the weird telepathy Alex, Reggie and Luke have gained which allowed them to write a full song without a single sound being made.”

“Hey, that bit had nothing to do with me,” Bobby protested. “But we would make a hilarious tv show, you are correct.”

Julie raised both eyebrows. “Dude you wrote the hook whilst you were out. I had to watch them sit in separate corners of the room and fuck about silently, then they all started playing at the same time, pulling off seventy five percent of a song, and you walked in singing this fucking verse you’d written whilst you were getting chocolate because Flynn had cramps and Alex just… wanted some, and now we have a song called Crooked Teeth. Crooked  _ fucking  _ Teeth. And it’s really good!”

Bobby tipped his head in acknowledgement, scanning through the menu. “Okay, but you and Flynn and Willie came up with an entire marketing campaign via waving your arms and making weird noises, so that was definitely scarier.”

“We’ve been friends for, like…  _ ever, _ though,” Julie defended, smiling at the waitress as she walked over. “Sure you and Reg are close as anything, and Alex and Luke are old friends, but that does  _ not _ explain what happened last Thursday.”

“... yeah, that’s fair,” Bobby conceded once they’d ordered. “But sometimes it just be like that. Tell me more about this tv show. I assume you’re writing, what with how much talent you have with songwriting, and you’ll have to co-star as Reggie’s…” he paused to count on his fingers. “Reg’s joint fourth favourite person, so. What’ve you got for me?”

Julie tapped her collarbone and cleared her throat obnoxiously. “Well, obviously Flynn and Willie would be in charge of wardrobe, because they both constantly look amazing, Carrie and Flynn would co-direct and fall in love, the band would be the main side-plot, along with your universities and stuff, but it would mainly just be shenanigans. What’s your song, that would be the theme song?”

Bobby smirked and coughed into his fist, almost as pretentious as her little throat-clear. “Ahh, skeet skeet motherfucker, ahh skeet skeet goddamn~” he sang quietly, laughing into his elbow when Julie choked on her glass of water. 

“It is  _ not _ ,” Julie insisted once she’d regained the ability to breathe. “You’re just messing with me.”

Instead of replying, Bobby just wiggled his eyebrows and pulled his phone out, doing mini-jazz hands as he called Reggie like some shitty gameshow host, then winced and wrapped his fingers around his wrist to crack it whilst it rang.

Reggie picked up almost immediately. “What’s crackalackin’, hot stuff?”

Bobby snorted, expression immediately shifting to something softer. “My bones, babe. Julie wants to know what our song is.”

“Oh, it’s that ahh skeet skeet motherfucker one. Tell her i’ll send her the link, my voice is fucked from screaming at your o’pa about whether or not lusting over James Acaster being sleep deprived in the Great British Bake Off - Stand Up To Cancer is valid, which it isn’t, poor dude needs a nap,” Reggie replied immediately, and Bobby stuck his tongue out at Julie. “For the restaurant tonight, do you think the swishy skirt or the red one that Carrie doesn’t know she’s leant me, yet?”

“I like the swishy one,” Bobby hummed, tapping his fingers against the table and whispering his thanks when the waitress brought their food. “Plus, dad wants to do drinks afterwards, and you like the swishy skirt when you’ve had a couple.”

“I knew i kept you around for a reason,” Reggie joked. “Alright, thanks then, Bobbit. Tell Julie that me and Al are going to get his piercing tomorrow after practice, so she needs to be ready with Nerds on Monday, because he’s being a huge baby about it.”

Bobby laughed, winking at Julie. “Julie can hear you, Regbert. Tell ‘Lex that it’s thirty seconds of pain and a few hours of discomfort for Willie to trip over something every time they see it for, like, three months.”

Julie quickly finished her bite, then cleared her throat. “Hi, Reg.”

“Julie!” There was nothing like the way Reggie always sounded so excited to see her and talk to her, or the warmth it always caused to bloom in his chest. Bobby smiled like he knew exactly what she was thinking. “How’s your fun little adventure going?”

“Well, you let me get into a car with a man who doesn’t know his left from his right,” she said immediately. “And he lectured me on date etiquette, as if Luke didn’t play the Wii song on my piano for  _ four hours _ last Monday and therefore i could never go there even if he is weirdly hot and funny and ridiculously talented, but he’s also trying to scam my neighbours for cake, so i guess not too bad.”

There was an awkward silence, then Reggie coughed. “Jules… um. I… Luke is sat next to me? He kind of looks like he’s just been given a Grammy, so i’m assuming this is a good thing bu-”

Julie hung up.

She looked up to Bobby, eyes wide. “I just told Reggie i like Luke over the phone whilst Luke could hear me, didn’t I?”

Bobby nodded and took her hand over the table, already redialing, taking the brief pause to eat a vaguely concerning amount of his burger in one go. “Julie, i love you, and i really feel for you, but Reggie is the king of assuming guilt, so let me just call him back for a moment, okay?”

“Hey, i should’ve said Luke was here before i said anything, i’m sorry,” Reggie blurted the second the line connected. “I just, I forgot, and i didn’t think, and i’m really really sorry.”

Hey, hey, no,” Julie assured him before Bobby could open his mouth. “It’s not your fault, I promise, okay, Reg? I am just a fool, and I’ll talk to Luke tomorrow, yeah? I’m a big girl, i can deal with being stupid like this. You’re fine.”

After a moment Reggie made a small sound. “Okay… I think Luke is broken.”

Bobby choked on his coffee. “That’s because we’re in a band with two  _ idiots _ , love. They’ll figure it out. You wanna be the one to tell dad we finished off the blueberry sourz last week, or should i?”

Julie thought that was a bit of an abrupt change in subject, but Reggie laughed. “He’ll only buy more if i ask, so i’ll do it. Will you pick up some pretzels for practice tomorrow? We’re hanging out in the studio, because Al called us and told us he’d had a brainwave, which is impressive considering he was with Willie when he called and we all know he’s useless around him, so now we’re fucking about, and then Flynn came over because we wanted to do some electronic-y stuff and none of us know how to do that, and they’re amazing, and so now Carrie is bitching that there’s no pretzels.”

By the time Reggie had finished, Bobby had finished his burger and made an impressive start on his fries. Julie watched in distant horror as she finally finished her burger. “Tell Carrie that she needs to stop being whiny, but also that there’s french fries - the English crisp things - in the drawer in the coffee table, and the crunch should tide her over.”

“Awesome, thanks Jules,” Reggie said. “I’ll let you guys go, you’ll have to start driving back, soon, and we’re heading to yours to use the hot tub because we gay. Julie-bean, Luke says he’s willing to ignore what you said for the sake of a coherent band for the next two months, until the battle of the bands is over, but he wants to schedule in Julie-time in advance.” He paused, and then, “And he says he still reserves all rights to prank you, you just now have to take it with extreme affection.”

Julie laughed, probably hysterical. “Tell him to text me a date and time, Reg, i don’t have a mental calendar, but i appreciate that he’s putting the band first, i really can’t afford for this to go wrong. You better all have a decent song for when we get back, though, seeing as you’re hanging out without us.”

“Yes ma’am,” Reggie joked. “Bye, babe.”

Bobby stopped trying to hold in his laughter as soon as the line went dead, sniggering into his elbow. “Oh my  _ god. _ ”

Julie floundered for a moment, waving a chip around in confusion. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“I can’t believe he put you on pause, and you agreed to it,” Bobby agreed, finishing his coffee. “I mean, was it smart? Probably. Are you gonna spend the next two months pining and almost making out on stage? Absofuckinglutely.”

\----

Julie was still ranting about the lecture when they pulled up in the driveway to Bobby’s place. It was as huge as she remembered from Carrie’s birthday party in the eighth grade, and Julie would’ve probably been more in awe if she could get past the way the lecturer had broken down ideas like the Geneplore model and the Darwinian Theory of Creativity, and Kernel ideas, and how they all related to building a song up from a core concept to a full piece of art. 

Bobby had been in the same boat for the whole of the drive back, and there’d been multiple moments of silence interrupted by one of them going  _ oh my god and what about-  _ and restarting the conversation. That was until Reggie shut the door behind him, sheer black skirt floating around his ankles in the gentle breeze and the sleeves of a cream sweater that she was sure she’d seen both of them wear flapping (she was pretty sure it was Bobby’s just based on how long the arms were) about as he waved, and Bobby promptly stopped talking, jaw slack. 

“You good, Bobert?” She asked him, trying not to laugh. Reggie grinned excitedly at them and hurried over, frantically scrubbing at his hair, which looked to still be damp. 

Bobby nodded and coughed into his fist. “Just… gimme a minute.”

“Understandable,” Julie admitted. “Why does he look better in a skirt than I do?”

“Jules, I am  _ incredibly  _ biased. I think he looks better than everybody in everything,” Bobby reminded her after a pause. “I’ve seen him in this skirt, like, fifty times, and it still breaks my brain.”

Reggie climbed into the back, leaning forward to press a kiss to Bobby’s cheek quickly. “Hi Julie, Bobaby. So… remember that thing you told me not to tell your dad because he’s trying to be more involved in your mental health and he already thinks you’re just a few cookies short of a bakery?”

“Oh god. How did you say it?” Bobby asked immediately, twisting in his chair. “What did he say? Did o’pa hear?”

“Uh.. so Carrie said you’re a moron of a human who makes bad choices - which, valid, we were discussing the incorrect way you make pb&js-”

“There is no incorrect way to make a pb&j, Regiver.”

“There absolutely fucking is, baby, and you’re  _ wrong, _ ” Reggie insisted. “Anyways, so then Trev was all like my son is a perfectly fine example of a human being, and you don’t understand, Bobbinald, the meme opportunity was  _ right there. _ ”

Julie choked on her tongue. “You didn’t…”

Bobby sighed and rested his forehead against the headrest. “I hate you.”

“Shush, you do not,” Reggie reprimanded. “So, i looked him in the face and said dad, your son refers to his weird dizzy spells as internal beat drops.”

“And?” Julie pushed, not taking note of how suspiciously shiny Bobby’s eyes had gone when he twisted back round and pulled out of the driveway. “And you didn’t tell us you get dizzy spells?”

“Well, firstly he cried because i called him dad, and then i cried, and then Joe cried, which was kind of uncomfortable because i wanted to hug them but my ribs were a little fucked because i didn’t mean to do that and i’ve, like, got a system with Trev, but not Joe, but then after a fun little conversation which was, like, miles beyond the limits of emotional honesty I’m comfortable with, Trev turned around and was like, wait, Bobby says fucking  _ what _ , and Joe laughed so hard they fell off the sofa,” Reggie reeled off, staying leaned forward so he could keep their attention.

Bobby shrugged, clearing his throat. When he spoke his voice was suspiciously thick. “They’re momentary, and the docs don’t think there’s an actual issue so the current plan is to ignore it. It’s why I’m late to practice sometimes, though.” 

“That…” Julie shook her head. “Terrible plan, but good luck with that.”

“I don’t have terrible plans,” Bobby insisted, parking outside her house. “You’re gonna get cake tomorrow, and then practice will be awesome.”

“Alex gets none,” Reggie added, climbing out. 

Julie laughed, and when Bobby finally managed to drag his attention away from Reggie, skirt and hair flowing in the wind, she spoke. “Okay, sure. And, uh… Bobby? This was really fun, today. Thanks for inviting me.”

Bobby waved her off. “I wanted my Julie-bonding time, and my positive consequence is that you and Luke have at least acknowledged that you guys are more than friends-”

“We’re not friends, he’s been my nemesis since grade school.”

“ _ More than friends,”  _ Bobby repeated forcefully, then smiled fondly. “And i will also get cake, i’m telling you. Now go call Flynn and Willie and tell them both that you’re an idiot and need to suppress your feelings for two months, and cry into a pillow or something.”

“Is that what you think girls do?” Julie asked, bemused, and climbed out. 

“No, it’s what i would do if i accidentally told Reg over the phone that i liked him and he said cool, can we put a lid on that one for a bit.” 

“That’s fair,” Julie admitted, and as she turned around to walk into the house, she saw Reggie climb in and lean across the gearstick to kiss Bobby.

\----

By the time Bobby arrived for practice the next day, Mrs Richmond had brought her an apple crumble and some advice about the horrors of men, and Frau Bauer from three houses down brought her a pretty awesome looking chocolate cake and a piece of jewellery she insisted wasn’t brass knuckles. 

Bobby threw himself onto the sofa when he arrived, Reggie nudging him until he moved to accommodate the other boy. “So, did you, or did you not get cake? He asked expectantly.

Julie sighed and motioned to the table which held both. “I got cake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated if you enjoy 💜💜


	5. Fuck You and Your Nice Arms, I’m Steering This Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their debut gig went… surprisingly amazing.  
> Flynn and Willie had gone hard on the marketing front, so it had been well advertised and well attended, and they’d crammed in as much practice as possible beforehand, so their music had been awesome, and when they’d finally gotten on stage?  
> It had been everything Julie had hoped it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this two days late? yes  
> do I have a reason other than it took ages to write for unknown causes? no  
> do I care? no  
> anywho, we're done!!!!  
> i actually super love this chapter so I hope you all enjoy it!!  
> also, tune in next week for the start of my next 5-ish chapter project: a rukebox road trip drunk wedding fun lil thing that will be going on for the next few weeks:)))  
> enjoy!  
> (Absolutely huge thanks to @WhatsYourNameMan and @wadewaits (tumblr) for sensitivity reading everything that mentions trans Luke)

Their debut gig went… surprisingly amazing.

Flynn and Willie had gone  _ hard  _ on the marketing front, so it had been well advertised and well attended, and they’d crammed in as much practice as possible beforehand, so their music had been awesome, and when they’d finally gotten on stage? 

It had been everything Julie had hoped it would be. 

There’d been Alex at the back, drumming in time with - or maybe guiding - their collective heartbeat, grin loose and electric, hair in his face in a way he’d never allow it to be at school. He kept them steady and in time, and whenever Julie turned to look at him, he flashed her a gentler smile and mouthed something supportive, before showing off a little bit, the muscles of his arms taut and put on display by the cutoff he’d stolen from Luke, which she mainly knew about because of the soliloqy Willie had dedicated to them when Julie facetimed him and Flynn the next day. 

Then there’d been Reggie and Bobby, starting on the far left and right of the stage but quickly bouncing around the whole thing like they had too much energy to contain, fingers flying across the fretboard and strings, singing with each other like they were the only two for miles, then joining her and Luke as fluidly as if they were just as in love with them as they were each other. 

Then Luke,  _ god,  _ Luke. Come alive like she’d never seen him, gaze charged enough to set her alight, matching her note for note and step for step, following where she lead him, practically oblivious to everyone else on stage. He’d been on fire the whole night, in and out of her space like he wasn’t leaving her breathless and reeling every time he sung into her mic and the rest of the world fell away.

\----

The next two months were torture. 

Julie had known, from the second Luke had suggested not pursuing anything until the Senior Showcase, that it would be both the most sensible and the least sensible decision of her life, that she’d be thankful for not risking the band and the performance that she needed, but the tension between them was indescribable and undeniable, especial with the boys, Carrie, Flynn, and Willie pointing it out every chance they got. Even Nick had motioned between them with a little eyebrow wiggle 

Every practice was different after the gig, like it had been some sort of crucible. They’d gone in as separate entities and emerged as one, and it couldn’t be clearer than the Sundays they spent cooped up in Julie’s garage, Alex drumming until his hands bled while her other boys shredded their fingertips to ribbons, and Flynn and Willie watched, adjusting positioning and pairing and squabbling over posters. 

By the time it got to the day of the actual showcase, Julie felt like she’d known them for a million years. She knew which of Bobby’s stumbles she could keep playing through, and which she needed to call a break for, she knew to check with Reggie about everything and never trust his brave face or her own knowledge of him, because he wouldn’t lie, but she wouldn’t be able to tell if things got bad without asking, and she was learning when to reach for Alex, or when to grab Reggie, who’d become surprisingly close with him, and when to subtly shuffle everyone out of the room. She’d established systems with them - Reggie’s red chemistry pun shirt (Bobby’s red chemistry pun shirt) meant  _ be gentle, don’t touch, soft voices please,  _ and when Bobby squeezed her shoulder as he grabbed a chair it meant  _ I’m tapping out, this might take a while _ , and when Alex crammed himself between Willie and the arm of the chair, huge pink hoodie engulfing him despite the heat of the garage it meant  _ I need space for a bit, back off.  _

She knew now that Alex hated needles, but loved how flustered Willie got whenever they saw the little gold hoop in his helix enough to get a second, and that he was always anxious about getting in trouble because he hated having to reason with adults who saw his cheer jacket and nervous smile and dismissed him immediately, but that he’d ditch class in a heartbeat to drive Reggie home - and when Willie wore a skirt to school, to make out in the gym - and that he loved the cheerteam as fiercely was he loved the band and was willing to jump through impossible hoops to continue doing both. 

She knew that Reggie’s career aspirations changed twice a week, because when he’d lived with his parents it had had to be something that would earn enough money to get him out as quickly as possible without several years of accumulating debt in college, and now that he had a home he felt loved in he was just taking his time to find something that  _ fit _ , and that sometimes excitement hurt as bad as dread, and that he had a list of tattoos he wanted a mile long, and a plan built with his doctor and Joe of what kind of local anaesthetics or painkillers to use, locations that might be appropriate and painless.

Hell, she even knew that Bobby hated physical chemistry, but could name ridiculously complex organic molecules almost instantaneously, and that he’d rambled about transition metal complexes and how cool it was that he could finally do the thing where he poured one solution into another to make pretty colours, and that he had tried to learn the drums when he was seven but he’d thrown the drumsticks at Carrie so many times that his dad had banned drums from the house, and steered him towards guitar, and that he was very liable to cry if he saw very small animals. 

She knew Luke better, too, even if it had been reluctant at first. She’d seen him come to rehearsals with tense shoulders and a subdued expression, then run through riffs and sing runs until his voice was croaky and his fingers bled the days of doctor’s appointments, and one time when Bobby had glared more viciously than Julie knew he was capable when Luke snapped at Reggie on a red-chemistry-pun-t-shirt day, he’d explained haltingly about how the doctor sorting out his assessment always questioned his judgement, something to do with  _ are you sure you’re not just looking for a diagnosis, Luke? You told me about the link between ADHD and gender dysphoria, are you sure you’re not just adding 2 and 2 and getting 5? _ It hadn’t really gotten better after that, there was nothing really that they could do, but instead of showing up and struggling, he called ahead to organise a band bonding session instead. Julie didn’t know if the hours piled together in her living room watching Moana for the millionth time helped him as much as their presence at her shoulders when she got hit unawares by a memory of her mom, but she hoped it helped at least a little bit. She knew now that he’d dug up her mom’s flower patches at her seventh birthday party because he’d seen little Reggie Peters trip in the mud and look at the flowers scattered across the drive with barely concealed fear, and he hadn’t known what it had meant, not at seven, but he’d know that there had been something he could do, and so he’d done it. She knew that he thought Alex’s smile was pretty, and she knew he liked the way Bobby’s arms looked in his skin-tight tees, and she knew he thought Reggie was all-around cute, and most importantly, she knew what his voice sounded like when he called her beautiful, and she knew that there were too many galaxies to count hiding in his eyes, invisible until they were inches apart and illuminated by stage lights, and she knew that every time he glanced down at her lips mid-song, he was thinking about kissing her. 

They weren’t doing very well on the “put it on pause” front. 

Or, well, they were, but only in the sense that Julie resisted the urge to hold his hand when it struck, and when he looked at her mouth, she didn’t lean in. 

They kept a careful distance apart and texted at three am about how Julie would’ve loved to take Luke with her to see the mountain she’d climbed with Ray and Carlos, or about how Luke had gone to see some new film, and the whole time he’d been thinking that she would love it. When he arrived at band practice, she didn’t kiss him hello like Willie did Alex, and when he left, she didn’t follow and climb into his car like Flynn did Carrie. 

It was, quite honestly, agonising. 

But today was the final day she had to suffer through it. Tonight they were absolutely going to kill it on stage, and then she was going to kiss the absolute life out of Luke, and then she was going to eat her weight in celebratory ice cream with Flynn and Willie and her boys, and probably Carrie and Nick, who’d helped out way more than Julie had ever expected, and then she would get a scholarship to Julliard. 

\----

“Why is Alex doing his runway strut with an envelope?” Julie asked once she’d finished picking out her clothes and made her way down to the garage, sinking into the sofa next to Bobby. 

Bobby shrugged and kissed her temple lightly. “We don’t know. He didn’t tell us anything important was coming up, right?”

Julie shook her head, leaning across Bobby to bump fists with Reggie. “Willie’s almost here, they’ll probably get it out of him.”

Reggie knocked his knuckles against hers, shuffling until he could comfortably rest his head on Bobby’s chest. “Nick and Carrie are coming too, since they’re being our roadies for the day.”

“I still can’t believe Carrie didn’t argue the technicalities of Dirty Candi being a band,” Luke said, appearing suddenly next to Julie. “I really thought she’d push it.”

Bobby didn’t jump at all, but Reggie’s fist tightened where it was gripping his shirt. “Hey, man. Nah, Care has some out of state thing on Thursday anyway, she said, and i quote “I’m not repeating a routine like a loser, and I’m not forcing my girls to learn that many routines, because I’m not a bitch, and I’m not fucking stupid enough to ditch this for a school thing.”” He paused, then winked conspiriatorially, hand coming up to card through Reggie’s hair. “Plus, she’s hella gay for Flynn, and would  _ not _ risk a fight or tension over something like this, this early on.”

“Oh, that’s valid,” Reggie agreed, eyes closed. “Flynn’s very pretty. And competitive.” 

Julie waved at Luke. “You know what’s up with ‘Lex?” 

Luke waved back, then shrugged, perching on the arm of the chair awkwardly. “I have an inkling, but if it’s what I think it is, we should wait for him to tell us.”

“Hey, hotdog, whatcha pacing for?” Willie asked before they’d even fully made it into the garage. “What’s going on?”

Alex shrugged helplessly, waving the envelope around. “I need to open this, because it’s important, and if it says what i want it to say, then it’s  _ amazing, _ but if it doesn’t then i’m gonna panic and probably throw up and also possibly cry.”

“Woah, let’s get you sat down, first then,” they encouraged, gently shepherding him towards the sofa. “C’mon, bro, talk to us.”

Alex nodded and sat down, sagging against Willie’s side when he sat down next to him. “I applied to Columbia on scholarship.”

Julie choked on her juice. “You what?”

“Don’t you have a place at Yale?” 

“Columbia, like, New York?”

“Do your parents know?”

“How come?”

“Yeah, i have a place at Yale, yes Columbia, like, New York, no, my parents don’t know.” Alex sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “My place at Yale is contingent on me being in the closet, though, isn’t it? Mom and dad aren’t gonna pay for me to go to college once they’ve inevitably disowned me. That was fine, three months ago, when i wasn’t best friends with six idiot queers, when Carrie wasn’t super out and she was my potential future wife, when i wasn’t dating someone and realising how much i hate having to sneak around about Willie dropping me off or having them over when my parents are out and bribing Tommy not to say anything. I want to be able to do all the fun college stuff, like getting blackout drunk and jumping in rivers, and going on last minute holidays with people i’ve spoken to twice, and if I need to keep my parents willing to pay for everything, i can’t do any of that.”

Julie opened her mouth to speak, but Alex pushed on, sliding down until he was in a weird position that could  _ not _ be comfortable to allow Willie to play with his hair when they nudged his shoulder. “Plus, i’m so fucking sick of being one of  _ those _ Mercers, and i don’t want the pressure of a million generations of Yale magna cum laudes when i’m having a breakdown over the correct pronunciation of bird in French at three am.”

“That’s so valid,” Reggie assured him. “Now open the letter, dude, you’ve obviously gotten in.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Oh, for fucks - give it here, Lexifer.” Bobby leaned forward and snatched the envelope out of Alex’s hands. “Now, i am going to open this, and then aggressively shove it in your face, and then you’re going to stop being a dumbass. Understand?” 

“I… yeah, sure.” Alex didn’t even try to argue, and to Julie’s eye, he looked relieved that the decision was being takne out of his hand. 

“Good.” Bobby neatly opened the envelope, with way more care than Julie had expected, then, as promised, unfolded the paper with looking and frantically waved it in Alex’s face.

“I got in,” Alex whispered, smiling spreading across his face, looking up at Willie, who leaned down to kiss him soundly, then back up at the rest of them. “I got in!” 

“I knew you could do it!” Reggie cheered, “I’m so proud of you, well done!”

“Colour me shocked,” Luke joked, clapping Alex on the shoulder, grin more proud than teasing. “But congrats, man! The New York gang is growing.” 

Julie grinned and leaned across Reggie and Bobby to fist bump Alex. “Thank God, just me and Luke in New York would’ve ended in disaster.”

“Please,” Bobby scoffed. “It would’ve ended in you two being disgustingly cute and having a little duo thingy at Juilliard, where you’re super gross and write each other songs for your classes.” 

“Like you aren’t going to live out your little nerdy dream in Massachusetts,” Luke defended.

Bobby pulled a face. “What the fuck romantic shit am i gonna manage doing a degree in orgo? Oh, yeah, fuckweasel, if you look at this molecule i was identifying, you can see that it’s Regular, and that starts with R-E-G, just like Reggie does, and it made me think of you while i was putting it through the mass spec machine?”

Reggie snorted. “I’ll discover a theorem and name it after you, Bobstard. Something to do with the mathematical relationship between how spiteful a person is and their ability to burn water.”

“... are you trying to trick me into learning to cook?” Bobby asked incredulously. 

Julie took a moment to process the implications of Luke not denying what Bobby had said, without being too obvious, but Willie’s wink told her she wasn’t as subtle as she thought. “I’ve not even got a place at Julliard, Bobert,” she interrupted.

“ _ Yet,”  _ Willie insisted. “Speaking of which, you idiots need to be sorting everything out because if Flynn and Carrie get here and you’re not ready to go, there will be bloodshed. And, for the record, me and Alex will obviously be doing the cutest shit, because we’re more adorable than all of you.” 

“That’s fair,” Reggie agreed, nodding. “What about Carrie and Flynn, though?”

“I’m highkey terrified of them, and lowkey in love with them,” Willie replied immediately, grinning. “Platonically. But they’re not adorable.”

Bobby waved a hand back and forth. “I’ve got pics of them asleep on my sofa that says otherwise.”

——

“C’mon, Jules, you got this,” Flynn encouraged quietly, leaning forward on tiptoes to get a glimpse of the stage. The last act before them were starting, and Julie was coming to the conclusion that a career in economics or sociology might be more appealing. 

“I absolutely do not got this,” she insisted, looking up at them and Willie pleadingly. “C’mon, don’t make me do this.”   
Alex cleared his throat from behind her. “Julie, can we talk to you for a sec?” He motioned to himself and the other three guys. She’d expected his hands to be shaking, this close to a gig, and his smile to be tight and nervous. Instead, he looked comfortable, shooting an impossibly fond smile at Willie. 

Luke nodded, gaze heavy, but not with the burning tension it had been of late, just weighted, like he was desperate for her to hear whatever they had to say. “We have something to show you.”

“We promise it’s good,” Reggie added, leaning forward to grab her wrist lightly, touch grounding like it always was. Reggie always managed to make her feel like she was the most important person he’d ever met, like holding her hand was something he revelled in, felt honoured by. 

Bobby smiled quietly. It wasn’t quite the grin he always gave Reggie, which never failed to contain more love than Julie had ever been able to put to music, but it was pretty fucking similar to the smile he gave Carrie - and, increasingly often, Flynn - and it overwhelmed her with the kind of sisterly fondness she found herself feeling whenever Carlos did something particularly sweet or stupid.

“Of course,” she agreed. “What is it?” 

“We just wanted to remind you that it’s okay to be nervous, but you’re really super awesome, and you’ve managed to get us all to do a lot of things, and it’s time to get yourself to do something,” Reggie started, squeezing her hand. “You got us all to have a conversation, for starters, even though we could probably star in The Breakfast Club, and then Al asked Willie out and got his ears pierced, and applied to a fucking university that wasn’t Yale even though Mercer is practically synonymous with Yale, and I applied for Harvard because of some stupid comment you made in the middle of a movie, and spoke to dadosaur and my doctor about my tattoo ideas instead of egging Bobbit into cooking something up by following a youtube tutorial, and Beebob’s circle of people he’s emotionally available with has now extended from two people to, like ten, and he told Care-bear he loved her the other day - honestly the most bizarre thing i’ve ever seen in my life - and Lukebert has somehow gone from thinking you were the worst person alive to being very very close to fully head over heels in love with you, so, you’re amazing, you’ve got this, and why is no one taking over, c’mon guys i’ve been talking for a solid minute, will someone say something please-”

Alex snorted. “Reeg basically got everything in one, there, but he’s right, Jules. You’ve helped us all, a lot, because you’re absolutely fucking incredible, and you’re gonna get on that stage with us, and it’s gonna be the queerest performance this school has ever seen, and you’re gonna kill it, because you’re Julie  _ motherfucking  _ Molina, and you are the most talented person any of us have ever met.”

“Jules, c’mere,” Bobby said, quieter than the other two but just as firm. When she moved closer, he wrapped both arms around her to pull her into a tight hug and pressed his cheek against her hair. “I haven’t got a speech, but you’re a real fucking star, Molina, and you’re gonna ace this, and you’re gonna get into Julliard, and you’re gonna have a weird little cute-sy apartment with Luke across the hall from Willex in New York, and we’ll do those, fucking, those facetime group chat things with them and you and Care and Flynn, and probably Nick and his cursed fedora, that funky little aroace, and i will be your man of honour at your wedding and tell everyone about how you wrote an entire mini musical to explain to Alex and Willie that they can’t wearing their weird matching socks to 71Above, because Flynn can’t organise the whole thing  _ and  _ be maid of honour, and then in return you can be ma’am of honour at  _ my  _ wedding, and tell everyone about how i almost killed you driving to go get burgers, but all of that starts with you putting your big girl boots on, and woo-ing your man - and the Julliard people - with that absolute  _ killer  _ voice of yours, okay?”

Julie laughed wetly into his shoulder. “I thought you didn’t have a speech?” she teased. “And no making me cry, I’m wearing eyeliner, you bastard. Also, calling me Molina doesn’t make what you’re saying not sappy, but i appreciate the effort.”

“Shhh,” Luke faux-whispered. “Let him dream.”

Julie looked up, smiling brightly at him. It was probably ridiculously obvious how she felt for him, but for the first time she’d thought that the Patterson kid from science was way cuter than the other children in their grade, she didn’t care. “You got a speech for me too?” 

Luke shrugged, smile becoming something shyer, more secretive. “Maybe, but it’s an after-show type thing, not suitable for now. Just get there out and kill it. This is performing, Jules. You know every step by heart.”

\-----

Luke was right. 

The second Julie stepped past the curtains in the wings, something settled in her. It was  _ her _ stage and these were  _ her boys _ and they were going to play  _ their  _ songs. There was nothing and no one that could stand between Julie and singing her heart out. 

It wasn’t about Julliard, once she got out on stage. 

It wasn’t about living up to her mom’s legacy, or making her dad proud, or proving to Principle Lessa that she hadn’t made a mistake allowing Julie to remain in the Music Programme, or making it clear to every person who’d ever doubted her that she was a musician and a damn fine one at that. 

It was about this:

Alex, spinning his sticks around his fingers not out of nerves, but because he knew it flustered Willie, new ace pride bracelet halfway down his forearm and just above his mlm pride bracelet, grinning at her like they were brothers tried and tested by battle, ready to fight side by side once again, forged into one by the beat of their heart and the music and the nights staring at the stars and questioning their place amongst them. 

Reggie, already bouncing on the balls of his feet, miming finger patterns along the fretboard as though he couldn’t play their entire set with his eyes closed, smile brilliant and true and full of  _ home _ in a way that made her feel like she was sat on the roof of the garage, feeling the first rays of a summer morning sunrise. She wondered if he’d like doing that, if he was enough of a morning person for it. She realised she could just ask him, then realised that he’d wake up that early for her anyways. 

Bobby, his mirror image and utter opposite, just as much a place to run to, smile as warm and welcoming, but a place to run to for safety and comfort, stood stock still, cradling his guitar like it was something precious in such a manner that his arms looked open. They were, to her, to them. It had taken a while to worm their way past his defences, but the walls weren’t down, the door had simply opened, and now they sheltered her, too. He winked at her, and she suppressed a giggle. 

Luke, grin easy and eyes alight and stance so relaxed that she thought for the millionth time that maybe he’d been born for the stage. No, not  _ the  _ stage,  _ their  _ stage. She’d seen him perform without them, without her, and it was different. He was different here. Every inch as alive as he was on any other stage, but there was something more to him like this, watching her with a gaze that made her feel trapped and free at the same time, purple tie around his arm, trans and pan bracelets to match Alex’s, her doodles all over his guitar - in wipeable chalk pen, he didn’t love them  _ that  _ much - and the little ghost they’d all allowed Willie to draw on their cheeks creasing every time he pulled a face at Reggie. 

All four of them had become so much to her in the last few months, and they’d managed to fit around her life instead of fitting into it. Alex facetimed her to ramble about dates, and Bobby and Reggie invited her to camp out in their living room - and on one particularly disastrous occasion, in the woods - and Luke called her at three am to make nonsensical statements and write songs, but it wasn’t just that. They’d not pulled her away from the life they already had, they’d just built themselves into it, and it had only been a month or two before Julie couldn’t remember what it was like not to wake up to a million messages in the groupchat, and the entire Wilson family in her kitchen while Ray and Trevor talked about stage photography, Luke chasing Alex through her living room, screeching about how he was Flynn’s favourite. They’d seen her family, small and still grieving, and they’d added to it. 

This wasn’t about anything but her and her boys and their friends, who’d made this happen. 

Julie glanced to Alex, who tipped his head, to Reggie, who winked dramatically, to Bobby, who shot her a subtle finger guns, and finally to Luke, who mouthed  _ wrecking ball. _

She stepped forward, sliding her mic into the grip. 

“Hi, we’re Julie and the Phantoms.”

\----

Julie had planned to let Luke speak after the show. 

She really had. 

But then she’d seen Alex stride off stage and straight into Willie’s arms, and she’d seen Bobby and Reggie, attempting to put their guitars away amongst kisses and laughing, and she’d seen Carrie and Flynn, hand in hand and watching them all like they weren’t overwhelmingly proud of them, and Bobby’s words echoed in her mind.

_ The Julie Molinas of the world don’t wait for the Luke Pattersons of the world to get their heads out of their asses, they say “fuck you and your very nice arms, i’m steering this ship” and then you sweep him off his feet. _

“Hey, Luke, c’mere,” she called, laughing to herself when Nick flashed her a thumbs up as he ran past, probably to grab the rum he’d promised. 

Luke turned around, eyebrows drawn together. “What is it, Jules? Can we go somewhere? I wanna tell you-”

Julie grabbed his t-shirt and puled him in, slow enough that he’d have time to pull away. “Can i kiss you?”

Luke blinked, going bright red. “Can you - I - what?”

“Can she kiss you, dumbass,” Alex called, arms around Willie’s waist from behind, chin resting on his shoulder. “C’mon, man, we have an afterparty, there is beer in my car, Nick is fetching his promised rum, let's get moving.”

Bobby cheered. “Level eight Alex: unlocked. New abilities gained? Recklessness, confidence, drinking alcohol.”

“You  _ dork,”  _ Flynn remarked drily, then raised both eyebrows at Luke, Carrie letting go of their hand so they could cross their arms over their chest. “Well? You heard Julie, can she kiss you?”

Luke stammered for a moment, then suddenly relaxed. “‘Course you can, Jules.”

Julie grinned and leaned up on tiptoes, eyes fluttering shut as finally - fucking  _ finally _ \- she pressed her lips against his. 

After a moment, she pulled back. “As much as I am very much looking forward to your speech, Nick got sparkly rum from his dad, and I’ve only  _ dreamed _ of what the purple stuff in Mr Wilson’s liquor cabinet tastes like, so can we save it for when we aren’t surrounded by all of our friends?”

Luke laughed and kissed her quickly, “Yeah, i think i can deal with that.”

Nick reappeared not moments later, wine bag in hand. “Oh, I missed the kissing, thank god for that. Are we all ready?”

“Fuck yeah, we are,” Luke, Alex, Reggie and Bobby all said at the same time, immediately cheering once they’d finished.

Carrie linked her arm with Julie’s as they all stumbled towards the car park. “I should’ve given you more credit,” she admitted grudgingly. 

Julie raised an eyebrow, watching fondly as Luke raced Willie and Nick to the passenger door of Alex’s car. “Credit for what?”

“The dumbass wrangling,” Carrie explained. “You started this with four morons, two vaguely scary best friends, a brother, and a dad, and you’ve ended it with five brothers, two vaguely scary best friends, a sister, a boyfriend, two dads, and a parent. I think that’s pretty fucking impressive.”

Julie laughed, and nodded jokingly, hugging Flynn close when she appeared on her other side. “I guess I’m pretty fucking cool.”

“A pretty fucking cool Julliard student,” Bobby cheered, resulting in a round of whoops and yells from the others.

Three months ago, hell, even yesterday, Julie would’ve denied that, too sure there’d be some mistake to notice, or that she’d jinx it by saying it loud, but they’d played  _ incredibly _ , and she had her friends around her, and beer in Alex’s car, and the mystery purple liquor at the Wilsons’, and rum in Nick’s hand, and Luke was watching her like the sun rose and set at her command. “Yeah,” she agreed. “A pretty fucking cool Julliard student.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated if you enjoyed, thanks for coming along for the ride!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated if you enjoyed, come find me on [Tumblr](https://maybeiwanttheoceantoburn.tumblr.com/post/623186092532924416/master-list-for-everything-ive-written-so-far) If you wanna chat about anything :))  
> 


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